Growing up in a Filipino American family has definitely buffered my experience the last couple of months I’ve been here in Southeast Asia. I mean I am totally Americanized. I’m just a wannabe Asian, Latina, Black or White person depending on who I’m around or what food I’m eating…lol just kidding So what does it mean to “save face”? Well pretty much your face represents your reputation. So to “save” your reputation you would pretty much put up a front about how you’re are actually doing or feeling depending on the situation to save you from shame or embarrassment.

Here are some interesting do’s and don’ts that I got off of this travel blog concerning the art of saving face:

 

The number one rule for saving face in Asia, particularly Southeast Asia, is not to lose your cool in public. Shouting or arguing in public are strictly frowned upon; causing a scene actually makes bystanders lose face through embarrassment suffered on your behalf. Although frustrating, always stay patient and calm until both parties reach a resolution — even if a small compromise must be made.

Understanding the concept of face can also be used to your advantage. When negotiating prices in Asia, keep in mind that you cannot allow the shopkeeper to lose face by making them feel like they were shorted during a transaction. Even though the vendor may want to make the sale, they will avoid a loss of face by refusing to meet your inflexible price. Drive a hard bargain, but give in just a little on your final price, or offer to buy some other small item from their shop for the asking price.

Tip: In many Asian countries, a giggle often suffices when it comes to saving face. People will often giggle nervously when risking a loss of face.

 

Simple Tips to Prevent Someone From Losing Face

  • Avoid all potential embarrassment for others.

  • Avoid pointing out someone’s mistakes openly in front of their peers or strangers.

  • Always give sincere compliments when they are due.

  • Politelyrefuse a gift at first, but always eventually accept the token with both hands.

  • Show extra respect and defer to all elders and people of rank, title, or uniform.

  • When negotiating prices in Asia, try to give a little on your final price.

  • If offered, always allow your host to pay for your dinner. You can offer a little resistance, but eventually allow them to pay — anddon’t offer to leave a tip!

  • Bending the truth is common in China, however, pointing out that someone is lying or embellishing details will cause them to lose face.

  • Don’t make a big deal when giving someone a gift — this includesinteractions with beggars.

  • Ifenjoying a drinking session with local friends and they’re grimacing after every drink, join them in a “whiskey face.”

  • At least try a small sample of all dishes you are offered in formal settings, even if you don’t prefer them.

  • Be very cautious — or avoid altogether — friendly physical contact (i.e., hugging) with members of the opposite sex.

Simple Tips for Building Face in Asia

  • Always, always, always give credit when credit is due. Let the compliments and gratitude gush.

  • If you see that potential embarrassment for someone else is imminent, do something to distract from it (e.g., quickly change the subject).

  • Politely deflect compliments that come your way. Turn them around to compliment your teacher, parents, or senior peers.

  • Laugh and smile at your own mistakes, especially if others saw you make them.

  • Turn the attention away from yourself, preferably putting elders more into the spotlight.

  • Take a small gift if invited to someone’s home.

  • Compliment your host (or the chef) whenever possible.

  • Express interest in the local culture and history of a place you are visiting.

  • Accept business cards with both hands; hold them by the corners and treat them as cherished objects of high value.

So as you can see there are ways of building face and avoiding having to save face too. You don’t have to be in Asia to experience this. Some of these tips are not that bad, but the more I experience this, the more I long for Jesus to come back already. The concept of saving face is essentially all about pleasing your peers, caring about what others think about you…fearing man.

 

This is a struggle that has challenged me all my life. Going into month 3 on the race, I have gotten a lot better at communicating my thoughts and feelings regardless of feeling the need to “save face”. Honestly being on the receiving end of saving face has been quite frustrating over the past couple of months. I’m not going to go into details as to whom I experienced this with, but I just wanted to share with you my thoughts on how I have been combating this.

 

-Checking myself-Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2). I get pretty angry/passionate about injustice for others and myself! However, honestly, sometimes my pride get in the way of wanting to renew my mind in the first place because I feel like my way of thinking is the only way.

-Praying for the other person(s)-And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God (Col 1:9-10) Praying for the other person(s) helps point both the other party and myself back to the Lord.

 

No specific story for today…just some food for thought. If you have any specific questions on this topic please feel free to email me personally at [email protected]

 

The New year is quickly approaching which also means that I am running of time to be fully funded! Our last financial deadline in on January 31, 2017. I am still  only $3412 short of being just that! Please consider supporting this mission through donating just a few dollars. The more people that donate, the less you have to spend. I know it’s a tight season right now familia y amigos PERO that is why I am also asking that you just spread the word as well. I am honored to be bringing “Joy to the World” this season and again, there can never be too much thanking in the process to those who have supported me thus far! God is gracious.

 

 

But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts (1 Thes 2:10)