Today if you hear his voice,
Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
On the day of testing in the wilderness,
Where your fathers put me to the test
And saw my works for forty years.
Therefore I was provoked with that generation,
And said, “They always go astray in the heart;
They have not known my ways,
As I swore in my wrath,
They shall not enter my rest.
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. And it is said,
Today, if you hear his voice,
Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”
~Hebrews 3:7-15
Every time I read about the Israelites in the wilderness, I wonder how in the world these people could have disobeyed the Lord and complained against Him when they saw right there all He had done, everything He had created. That’s so wrong! If they were truly followers of the Lord, they would have obeyed immediately, right? That’s just what Christians do! I just didn’t understand how they could rebel against God, who continually showed His faithfulness and love to them.
Until about a week ago.
Last week, I found myself flat on my face, realizing that I was being disobedient, rebellious, and prideful. Not just in one way, but in a dozen little things. Things as simple as apologizing to my team or squad mates, disobeying when I knew I was called to pray for someone, or not being willing to share what God had laid on my heart to share. They seemed so small, but they all added up. All added up to me realizing that I was being just like the Israelites and being disobedient even when the Lord has proven His faithfulness to me.
My lack of obedience:
- Brought lack of rest in His presence. I grew frustrated in my time with Him, never truly feeling like I had good time with the Lord, regardless of how many hours I spent pouring into the Word and prayer time.
- Hindered my service. I spent several days focused on my disobedience, knowing I was being disobedient and choosing to dwell on it instead of act, which made me miss opportunities for me to serve.
- Brought lack of communion and community with others. If I had chosen in to His plan and obeyed when He told me to apologize, pray, or share, I would have come closer to my team and squad, but instead pushed myself further away from them.
But God also reminded me of my unworthiness and His great love. In worship last week, we were singing “Oh, how He loves” and I was reminded that even in my rebellion, even in my disobedience, He still loves me and there is so much grace given to me. Grace that I don’t deserve. And I was so thankful. He is incredibly loving and faithful and gracious. My obedience should be a response to His love for me.
~Hillsong- Stronger
