I stand in awe as I ponder this road that you have placed before me. How differently I see it now than in time past. Once I could not comprehend how such a path full of rocks, curves, and hills, could be gift of love. I knew only the hurt and fatigue of falling and was certain of your disappointment with my every step.
Because of this belief many seasons came and went with my mournful cry echoing through them all. There were times my tears would flood the plains and only on your shoulders could I escape drowning in the river. “Don't despise the journey.” this is what you spoke to me most often. And yet despise it I did.
Not understanding turned to bitterness and anger as I walked through the desert places. I had dreams and hopes of gardens and fertile lands but they were stripped away little by little as I traveled along the sun-scorched path. Here, when you reminded me “Don't despise the journey,”and added too “Take joy in the journey.” It was too much for my parched soul and I called you cruel. I yelled into the heavens “Provide for me a field of flowers to frolic in and tell me not to despise the journey there! But do not ask joy from me in this wasteland!”
Since I saw no other choice… I walked on. Sometimes I would find my way to mountain tops. My soul longed to dance in these high places but I was often exhausted from the hills and narrow mountain paths. And here you said “Don't despise the journey.” I would shake my head, weary of this word.
I cried out in the night for understanding, my soul was withered within me. My request “Show me how this is your love! I cannot take one more step I do not have the strength.” “Take mine.” was your reply and my heart received your love. My heart and lips proclaimed what my mind could not yet see. “I will not despise the journey. I will not despise this journey.”
Time passed from there to now each step taken in your stride. As I stand here pondering this path I realize that it has been long since I heard you speak “Don't despise the journey.” And so I ask of you “Lord, why do you not remind me still?”
So sweet are your words to my soul, “You finally embrace the love with which I constructed this road for you and I to walk. For it was never the plan for you to walk it alone. You learned to dance in the rivers, and you have rejoiced in the plains, and sang songs of praise on the mountain trails. You have begun to plant fields in the desert and expect harvests from the sun-scorched lands. My love, you have found the joy in the journey, its been waiting for you all along.”
My tears flood down but no longer in mourning. Only an overflow of a heart so full of gratitude that it could not be contained. With all I am Lord, and with all that I will be, I thank you and praise your name. I thank you for this road where you never left my side and instead of teaching me not to fall you gave me strength to stand. I rejoice in this journey, for every valley and every high place. I thank you for all that has brought me closer to you. And my soul leaps for joy for the road yet to travel.
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This began as a feedback monologue assignment but quickly turned into revelation of God's heart on the journey He has made for me. Just in case you don't know, there is an amazing God who delights in restoring His people and teaching us to rely in HIS STRENGTH!! I hope that no matter where you are on your road this can speak to your heart. Know that God is a good and walks along side you no matter what you walk through. When it is hardest to see and seems nearly impossible to stand after a fall in the rocky places look carefully for the joy. I promise it is there to find. May the Lord bless you in all He has called you to.
