I have had many opportunities to me missionaries from all over the world. I am a PK (that’s Preacher’s Kid ) and have literally been in church my entire life. For as long as I can remember there was something about these people that tugged at my heart. They came from faraway lands with stories of miraculous things that God was doing. I was captivated. (So were they for that matter, or rather I held them captive.) I made it my goal to stick closer than their shadows from the moment they arrived till they were pulling out of the parking lot. It was as though I was expecting some of their missionary-ness to rub off on me…much like pixie dust. (Remember I was a child so this made perfect sense at the time.)
I was around 6 years old when I started telling my parents that I was going to be a missionary.( Actually, the full plan was to marry a missionary, move to Africa, build an orphanage, and live happily ever after…I think there was a pet lion in there somewhere too. )
When God places a dream in you, chances are that Satan isn’t going to be far behind trying to dig it up. In fact, he starts working overtime to steal, kill, or destroy. Even though I had the Creator of the Universe assuring me that he had plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) I often dealt with feelings of worthlessness and shame. Eventually I bought into it, hook, line, and sinker. I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough…or just enough period to ever be used by God. Slowly, painfully, my dreams were reduced to childish thoughts of a silly little girl and buried. What followed was YEARS of depression and anger. I got good at hiding the hurt and “playing church.” I can look back now and see God with me through all of it, but at the time I felt utterly alone.
Long story short, God basically chased me down with constant love till I accepted it. In case you aren’t aware, He is an amazing God who loves each of us with insane intensity. He peruses us with persistent passion. Our guilt and shortcomings are undeniable. We have sinned and will sin again and yet He loves. You can’t reason it out because it doesn’t make sense. It can’t be earned it has to be accepted. So…I accepted.
What did he do when He finally had my attention? He invited me to dream with Him. And so, here I am preparing for a mission that will literally take me all over the world (Africa included!!). Funny thing…I still don’t feel like a missionary. (Probably missing the pixie dust) I sometimes wonder when I will feel like a missionary.
Maybe it will be sitting on the tarmac in Washington DC waiting for takeoff, leaving all I know behind. Or perhaps, it won’t be till I am surrounded by children at an orphanage in Africa singing out praises to God. Maybe it will be when I walk through the slums of India praying for miracles and seeing them happen. Maybe it will be in Thailand, as I sit across the table from a woman trapped in prostitution, sharing laughter and tears as she realizes there is a God who madly loves her.
Truth be told, it doesn’t really matter if I ever feel like a missionary or not, I definitely have a mission. The years that I lived in defeat, God has redeemed and turned into an overwhelming passion. My heart’s cry is found in Isaiah 61:1… to see the broken hearted healed, to see the captives set free! (spiritually/emotionally/ physically) To see Satan’s strongholds demolished and watch those who were once bound in darkness dance in the light of God’s love!
I want to see those who are called the Children of God (that’s you and me my dear friend, if you have accepted Jesus as your savior) walk free of the chains and snares that Satan would bind us with. It’s time to learn to walk in and operate from the fullness of God’s overwhelming love.
I truely believe that God has put a dream inside each of us. Yours may look nothing like mine…or anyone elses for that matter. Don't let the fear of the unknown keep you from stepping out.
Dare to dream with God.
