I have lived a life of imperfections. I have lied, cheated, and stole. I have done wrongs in the same ways that I have been wronged. I have chosen a life of dirtiness and have embellished myself with grit and grime, yet, I am still beautifully flawed.
I remember the time in my life that seemed the ugliest. The time when I was so blinded by the filth around me that I couldn't even acknowledge how dirty I was. I remember the days when I barely had strength to continue on, the times when I was anything but pretty, and the destination of emotionless I landed at was so easy to accept. I remember looking back and wondering how God could take me back after I had turned my back on him or better yet, carried the very darkness in myself that would turn others away from his light. My ugliness was a disease that slowly overcome my body, my heart, and my spirit. I became empty and weak and blind. It's crazy how God used my lack of sight to enable me to see things differently.
I used to be the ugly kid and there are days when I still am. I make mistakes, bad decisions, and sometimes allow pride to control who I am. Life is a battlefield and I'm just a messed up soldier in it. Ironically, I have been given all of the tools to be a great warrior. You see, on the battlefield of heartache, imperfection, and regret, God has given me the opportunity to change, transform, and fight the good fight even if that fight is against myself. I have learned many things in and through my own ugliness but the single thing I am most grateful for is the freedom I have found within it. Freedom is not in you looking pretty. Freedom is understanding your ugliness and letting God's glory be seen in him loving the ugly kid. God's glory is not found in how pretty you are but how ugly you are and how he loves you anyways.
If God can use me, the ugly kid, to do beautiful things; then he can use you too.
