“I used to be a beggar
down on calloused knees
’til I got an invitation
into the courts of the King“
-No Turning Back, For King & Country
I used to be a beggar. Let me explain.
I wasn’t begging for money, but I was certainly begging for other things. I begged for acceptance. I begged to be noticed. I begged for the approval of others. I begged those closest to me to affirm me and allow me to find my identity in them. I begged people to fill the lonely, void spaces in my heart. I was lost, empty and selfish.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on people. Not only was I making a captive of myself, I was making captives of others. I was looking to people for things that can only come from the Lord. Until one day, He whispered gently to me and invited me to be found in Him. He told me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made; that not only does He love me, He LIKES me. I found that I already had the approval, acceptance and affirmation I sought after, I was just looking in the wrong places. I found my identity hidden in Jesus. And slowly, the emptiness inside of me has been replaced with an inexplicable wholeness.
I started enjoying relationships, instead of looking selfishly to them to define me. I started loving people simply to love them, without hopes of anything in return. I have joy in the midst of the darkest times. My chains of captivity were unlocked. In John 8:36, Jesus says: “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” I have been set free.
God is by no means done with me yet. There is still a lot of junk in my heart that I know He wants to chip away at. But I walk confidently in knowing that there is plan and purpose for my life. I pray the Lord will use the work He’s doing in my life to invite the “beggars” of the world to step out of their captivity and into the freedom only found in Christ.
“I used to be a beggar
Now I’m free indeed”
