I never want to lose my wonder.
It seems bizarre to say that this 11 month long experience of seeing His love through the beauty of 11 different nations could actually become normal. It seems far-fetched that this journey of life I get to walk on could become monotonous. It doesn’t seem possible.
But it is.
Don’t get me wrong there are moments when it seems all too surreal. But by month seven you begin to forget the adventure of a new location, new ministry, new mandate set before you. You start to get used to travel days; even in the midst of crazy circumstances it still will feel easy. While there are perks to that it scares me. I don’t want to forget what those first few months of unknown wonder felt like. Each travel day, ministry event, or spontaneous Jesus moment was unlike any of the rest, it stood alone and it seemed beyond imagination every time.
It takes quiet simple moments to bring you back into focus. Like driving, cramming eight people into a six passenger SUV with backpacks and all, down a busy Malaysian highway to a visit a village that you began to realize as you look out at a view of palm trees at the base of a stretch of beautiful mountains with fog descending down upon them that this life you get to live is absolutely, ridiculously, extraordinary. It is filled with wonder at every turn and exploding with adventure and exploration at every bend.
I never want to lose my wonder.
“Why has my heart grown hard? Soften it, soften it.”
This song echoes in my heart lately. A simple, short lyric but yet exactly describing the place I am at. I look around and I wonder, ‘How did I arrive here? How did I find myself at this street called ‘Hardness’? How do I get off this street I am standing on?’
It is a choice. A daily choice to see wonder, to see beauty in the smallest of moments just as easily as we do in the monumental moments. I cannot afford to see things as normal, ever. I cannot afford to see encounters with God as normal or average occurrences. I have to welcome every moment as something new and fresh.
We have four months left of this journey and I want to seize and lay hold of all that I can. I choose not to be hardened, callused to the wonder around me. I choose to receive every good thing He has for me. I choose to live in the excitement of His wonder, the passion of discovering the unknown, the joy in every moment spent with Him.
I choose wonder.
I choose passion.
I choose Him.
