It’s been both incredible and interesting being home. Of course, it is wonderful to be back with family and friends, but then there is also the disbelief of the materialism, the rudeness, and the general unhappiness of my home culture. All things I knew, but never really was able to stand back and look at from an outsider’s point of view, which I feel like I have been able to do to some small degree in this reverse culture shock process (not to be cynical or anything, I promise, there is hope for us yet)! 🙂
But then, once I left the house, I cried in the cereal aisle at the grocery store because I had more than two choices. There were like 50 choices. Not just Corn Flakes and Rice Crispies! Ha ha. I also sat on the couch the first night in amazement at the silence. I felt kind of lonely in the silence. It was really weird. I still can’t believe all the depression and fear I have seen on people. It seems that we, in America, just aren’t happy in general. I’ve noticed that I move and do life in a lot slower of a manner now than the hustle and bustle of craziness that is our culture. The rest of the world just isn’t on our same time crunch. And for the first week or so, I just simply felt like I was a foreigner in my own home.
Though, back on an up note, I have had the opportunity to tell my stories numerous times. That has been one of the biggest blessings. People have bee eager to hear, and have blessed me by listening. My Mom’s prayer group, my church youth group, my extended family, my friends, my parents’ former church, and lots of other individuals. So, if you fall into one of those categories, thank you so very much. I hope my stories have been a blessing and encouragement to you, because you have been a blessing to me as a supporter and listener. It has fulfilled a great need in my heart to be able to share.
While I feel like I have acclimated to the home environment pretty well at this point, the jury’s still out on how to really live the Racer lifestyle in America. I have been battling the distractions, battling being without my World Race family, and am still trying to figure out how to live a radical, Kingdom life in this culture of home (with all the cereal choices).
But while I am still in transition and at a place of figuring out how to live here after seeing and doing everything from this year, I have been constantly reminded by my God of who I am, and I have had an incredible community around me. I cannot begin to describe the love and encouragement and excitement that I have received from this amazing network of believers here on the home-front. I am finding that I am daily amazed at how God is so obviously providing, talking, and working in those around me and closest to me. And I am totally seeing Kingdom on U.S. soil.
So, even though I am still figuring this whole return-home thing out, the Kingdom is at hand. And while I am no longer “on the mission field,” everywhere is a mission field. And I see such incredible Kingdom things going on around me daily.
And so I thank you Father. After this month at home, I thank you for my family. I thank you for my friends. I thank you for the opportunities and blessings you have given me. I thank you that it is hard. It keeps it interesting! And I ask you to keep bringing it. Keep lighting Kingdom fires in me and in those around me, and keep bringing me to my knees to depend on you in this culture of comfort, distraction, and cereal. Help me to wake up each morning with nothing but my identity as your Beloved, and my purpose as your ambassador. This place is yours! The land of the free and the home of the brave, just like all the other countries we set foot on this year, is all yours. So help me walk with your eyes, your heart, even still, and forever.
