What word association, what term comes to mind when you think of the word,
God?
Dig deep. Or… don’t. Quick reflex… what is really there? Do you think of a name from the Bible? Or do you think of a quality or a characteristic? What one word, do you think? There is no right or wrong answer: it’s just your own personal impulse.
I wish I had a word association “tracker” over the past 18 months. I know it would have been extremely varied. From “Creator” to “healer” to “mysterious” to “absent” to “unknown” to “justice” to “Almighty”…. Mine would have been all over the place.
But since my “Jamaican flashback”… see previous blog… I’ve been wondering… {{but, not too intently because well, it would mess up the exercise up…}}
what do I think now when I hear “God”?
For me, the first time I really put this exercise into action…the result was hard for me to swallow.
… I was dumbfounded.
I thought… nothing.
Not… nothing as in the word… because even that, is something.
But, nothing as in … no visual, no flash of a word running across the forefront of my mind’s eye…
It was just blank.
So, then I got nervous. If I think “nothing”… then, is that a precursor to my life? And in a way, it was.
I was doing “nothing” in my spiritual life. I was just matter taking up space. I wasn’t proactive. I wasn’t generating fruit. I wasn’t doing anything to further the Kingdom.
And this is why you cant think about it too long… the word association- it just has to be… a reflex… a quick word vomit.
Because if you think about it too hard, you will manipulate it to fit in your own agenda… or pretend life… or people pleasing answer.
This has also trickled down to another thought:
If we are aware of what comes into our minds when we think about God…
what topic or ideal or characteristic…
What we… in our deepest of heart… conceive God to be like…
can dictate how we serve God.
May 2012, I would have thought about God as Healer. And, that was critical to me then.
But, a few weeks ago when I thought about God, I thought nothing. And, that made me realize…
that maybe I thought literally nothing… because I did not know God.
And, it seems sucky to say that outloud… especially since I’m supposed to be this Christian, bouncing all over the world, holding orphan infants and wiping poo from elderly in nursing homes… but, really…
Even though I’ve been a Christian for a long time… maybe if I am honest with myself… I really don’t know God afterall….Sure, I know Bible verses and really cool stories… and I even have my own mission experiences… I know praise and worship songs. I know church…I even know international church… but…
do I really know God?
And thus started this whole quest that I’ve been on these past few weeks.
:to get to know God.
Not just book smart or even common sense smart on {{useless}} knowledge of God.
I could know everything about trigonometry but is that practical in everyday application? No.
Application of that personal knowledge of God… is practical in further His kingdom, everyday.
{{You bet cha.}}
And I dont even want to passively get to know God either.
But, intentional time spent: searching, seeking, spending time with God… a genuine, everyday effort. Actively getting to know God for myself… intimately.
I know God is Holy and eternal… but what does that really mean?!
And how will knowing and understanding and applying that… reflect in my service to Him?
For instance: Sure, I know God is loving… but… I’m learning and applying that fact that God is loving.
check it out: Romans 5:8. “I have loved you at your darkest.”
and because I’ve lived that… been through darkness and rehab… that means so much more to me now.
So, here is where you might want to quit reading…
because this is about to get real.
And, you may not like that.
and… you might be challenged by it.
and, changed by it.
What do YOU think when you think about God.
Who do YOU say God is?
….and what does that reveal in your service to Him?
