Martin Luther once said, “Pray and let God worry.”
Martin Luther must not have been sick for two months with no clarity or explanation.
Well, maybe he did… maybe it doesn’t matter. This is where I am still working on my attitude and perspective to change…
I’ve never been one to be able to rest… to slow down… that is not who I am..
I am a “go-go-go” and “do this, this, this and that” kind of person..
And… waiting… yuck. Don’t even get me started on that.
My best friend knows that the phrase I hate the most is “patiently waiting”…
But… resting… finding peace? Well…that is who I am being forced to be…
A place of rest…
I am so easily caught up in anxious thoughts. Anxiety can keep me thinking obsessively about a certain problem…lets say, sickness and it can occupy all of my time and energy. Oh, how well I know this to be true. It can be completely draining.
I pray about the situation, asking God to intervene. But… still I am consumed with it.
Obviously, shedding my anxiety does not come easily.
Paul gives me wise advice. It is, in fact, a command: “Do not be anxious about anything.” How can I follow this? How can we follow this?
I can go through the motions of prayer, but how can this kind of peace sink into my hearts in the midst of a difficult problem?
Well… I am learning.
Slowly…. Just like my answers to my sickness… everything is slow with me now… I guess you could say that my stubborn self is learning how to slow down and rest… and through that.. I am learning that you can have peace…by praying with thanksgiving and full TRUST that the problem is God’s… his possession… it belongs to HIM. In this kind of prayer, I can transfer ownership of my situation to God.
I do not need to be wrapped up in it…IT IS HIS.
There is no way to come to this place of rest unless I am able to relinquish my own agenda in this situation.
Talk about sucky surrender… geeze, it is so hard!
But, you have to come to a place where you CHOOSE that…
You choose to let go.
I must become willing for God to work it out any way HE chooses…whatever the result to me…
It is so scary to relinquish control….but… I’m never in control anyway.
And… what outcome might God work out that would not be entirely good?
He is completely trustworthy with all my problems… trouble… sickness…and overall, junk.
Slowly, I am learning this.
Slowly… as I went to my fourth visit to my doctor.
Slowly…. as he ordered more test, more labs and more scans.
Slowly…. as I go to two more doctors tomorrow.
Slowly… as I go to UAB to see a specialist.
Slowly…. as I am still sick with no answers.
Slowly… as I watch my team and squad go to Africa without me.
Slowly… as I just sit here and cry.
Slowly… I learn to transfer control and relinquish my own will.
Slowly as my attitude begins to learn how to reflect this purely….
And… slowly… I am learning this:
God is completely trustworthy.
Are you going through a difficult trail? Relinquish your own goals and agenda in it. In your heart, transfer ownership of the situation to God. Our anxiety comes from a false sense of control- a sense that we perhaps are responsible to manipulate the crisis to work out for good. That is God’s job. Let go of your will and let your mind and heart be at peace.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition and with thanksgiving…present your requests to God. And then, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
　
