What happens when it all feels so meaningless? You know that it is up to your faith to give it meaning….to make you believe. The world is going on as it does, passing lives surround you. Sometimes it feels like you are standing completely still, while people speed by you….like you are trapped in a meteor shower. Normal life had become ministering to strangers everyday, arriving in a new place each month. It was all about the Holy Spirit, about Jesus’ love….and it still should be. Yet, you are surrounded by so many living in the world and for the world. Clinging to addictions and anger; which seems to be the easiest answer for them. Comprehending a greater being is too much, loving an unseen God not enough. This is the part about being a missionary that they can’t really prepare you for.
Society is about reaching a top that means success and wealth…..the things that will make you happy. More money equals fulfillment, perfection is the goal. A house, a car, a good job, a family, many friends, and all the hottest toys leaves little room for a Savior. So what happens when you know that this is not for you? When you can’t continue living the American Dream and going through the robotic motions? There is a greater need out there, something that you long to help….something you must put into motion. As the toxic attitudes of those around you, those you love so much continue to overwhelm you and blanket your soul…you long to break free. You long to go back to the times you felt the most on fire, the most alive in Christ.
You know there is a need all around you. You live in a place of weakened spirits. A place where people long for a break at work to get that next joint; where the evening is clouded with each beer, with each shot; and where it is more comfortable for people to speak of the crazy things they did that weekend then of their Creator. You want to stand true in your Faith and your convictions; and yet you are exhausted from doing it all year. How you wish it could of been easier coming home, how that comfy Holy Spirit community would be awaiting you….in all aspects of your life. In the end, you know that it can’t be that way…..that you weren’t promised an easy life when you accepted Christ. All the brokenness around you, all the sin and hurt, all the pain is a part of this world. You have lived it and still do……you are in a place that needs God so badly…..
So you muster up the courage, you get over yourself once again, and you fight for the God you so Love. You realize all the crap in your life is there for a reason, all the crap that people carry needs 
peeled off. You have been called to go to the Nations and one of those Nations is yours. Though you may go elsewhere, remember that in the present moment is where you need to be. Be there, be present, allow God to be present through you, Love! There is never a better time then the now to heal the sick, to pick up the helpless and broken, to shine for Christ, to bring it…..and by it I mean the Holy Spirit. So, once again, get over yourself. God doesn’t need meek Warriors, He doesn’t need weak spirited followers……He needs you. He needs all of you, all of Him in you…..Believe and Act.
