We stand on the big rock that overlooks all of Iringa, Tanzania; the view stretches for miles. It took us over an hour to get up here (walking to the path from town and then hiking up), but well worth the exercise. It’s times like these that we realize just how small we really are and just how big God is. I look down and watch the people, they are but little dots in the rhythmic dance of the town’s bustle. Of course I start to reflect on life, as nature has a way of making you do that. I realized how I don’t want to be just a dot in this life or to only linger in the distance. I want to be so much more…….don’t we all…..
Reflective states seem to make one question their purpose in this life…..why am I really here? I have to be honest I don’t look forward to every ministry day…..I often feel restless and left wondering if I really made a difference. Call it insecurity, call it doubt, call it whatever you like, but maybe it’s because I am waiting for something much bigger. Like there is an unscratched itch that is bubbling under the surface, that is causing this restlessness. I pray often that God would just work through me and all I can really do is have faith that He has. And I do have that faith. I’m tired of stressing about how I should be doing more, or if there is more I could be doing. It’s getting old thinking about the future, wondering what God wants me to do, who I need to be.
The other day, on another hike, we came across a tricky looking path that led somewhere to the bottom of the mountain (a hill by Colorado standards). Emily looked at me and asked, “Well, should we take the lesser known path?” “Why not.” said Tanna and I stated, “Um…yeah!” So we did and we came out to a part of town we had never been, not completely knowing where we were at. We didn’t worry though, we knew that all paths eventually led to town. Why don’t we do that in life…..take the lesser known paths? Jump without overanalyzing things? Take risks without questioning if it is God’s will for us? Doesn’t all righteous and faithful living lead to the same God? Francis Chan has a good point in Forgotten God, saying we often use “God’s will” for us as an excuse. An excuse to not live radically for Him, to not live sacrificial and faithful lives. Man, what we must miss out on by being so dramatic and overly cautious. What about taking those paths and trusting God to be our guide, to take us to places we could never go on our own? How often is that ‘gut reaction’ really the voice of God telling us to trust him…..to just do it? Maybe it’s as high as 99.9% of the time.
What would of happened to Noah if he hadn’t listened to God and built the ark? If he had questioned the idea too much and worried that everyone would think he was insane? Well, good ol’ Noah would of been violently washed away in the torrential rain with the rest of the sinners. He would of died as a result of his unfaithfulness, just like King Saul (1Chron 10:13). Instead, Noah trusted God and took the lesser known path……he forsaked the opinions of all others for his Father in heavan. That’s radical living for God, that’s choosing to not just be a dot on this earth, to rid oneself of dead faith. That’s what I want to do…..to re-awaken my soul and walk blindfolded, trusting my Lord’s hand to lead me. I think that with that comes a peace, as a burden is lifted off.
The other day, we walked through a hospital praying over patients. Most of them don’t speak english, so can’t really intrepret what we are saying. It can seem hopeless, especially when a ‘fireworks’ miracle healing doesn’t occur (that’s the high expectation human nature coming through). I was praying over an older lady with malaria, and as I prayed I noticed tears coming down her face. That was enough to know that God is working through me and sometimes it is going to be subtle. Miracles happen when we don’t expect them, so have faith and trust God; trust that He does use the faithful. Amen to that…..
