It’s been a hot minute or so since I have posted my last blog. There is a lot to catch everyone up on. First thing first, I have been living outside of a small village in Kandal, Cambodia. I live in a house with a small classroom attached. I got a team change! I am now on a team with 5 amazing girls. My team and I teach little kids English in the mornings and at night time, we have a study group with teenagers. I have only been here for three weeks, yet it has been the hardest month for me so far.
When I signed up for the race, I knew that it meant signing up for God to grow, stretch, and challenge me like never before. I knew that would be a painful process, but I never thought that while I was in that process, I would want to quit and go home. However, the entire three weeks I have been in Kendal, Cambodia, that is all I have wanted to do.
Cambodia is differently than I ever thought it would be. As soon as I entered this country, I felt an over whelming oppression and when I got to my ministry site, it got worse. I’ve never considered much of a “spiritual” person before, but being here I became aware of all of the devious and violent sprits around me. There is such a powerful darkness here. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced. On some days, it literally feels like I am staring satan in the eyes.
Everyday I wake up here is a battle. On most days, my joy and strength is gone before I even leave my tent. The place that I am in spiritually, is rough. It is full of depression and loneliness, and as much as I hate being here, I know crazy, amazing truths about my God. My God is loving and compassionate. He is joyful and full of mercy. I know that He only wants what is best for me. Therefore I know that God wouldn’t allow me to be in this place if He didn’t plan to do big things through it, and that gives me the tiny ounce of comfort and hope to keep my faith in God until He chooses to deliver me from this place.
Another thing that has been weighing on my heart is my purpose on the world race. When I first thought of the world race, and specifically working with children, I had big plans. I thought that I would helping get kids of horrible situations and protecting them from all of the bad in this world. However, being in a place where I interact with children who come from both physically and sexual abusive situations, I realize how wrong my ideas were. You see, as much as I want to be able to, I cannot save these children. Only God can save them. God brought me here to simply love and to show love to them. Sometimes, that frustrates me, because I know how much there is to be done here, but then I realize how powerful love and showing God’s love is. I am learning to never under-estimate God’s love and what He can accomplish through it!
I was talking to my AMAZING squad mentor Lizi last week, and she reminded me of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel. In this story, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are told to worship another God, and when they don’t, they get thrown into a blazing furnace. In chapter 3, verse 24 it says, “then king Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.” He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like the son of the gods!” I love that story so much and hearing it again was a much needed reminder that God is always with us. God wasn’t just watching Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the outside. He was in the fire with them and God is in the fire with not only me, but the children I am surrounded by too. Eventually, God will deliver us all from this place, unbound and unharmed, just like He did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego!
I am only in Cambodia for a few days more until my squad and I heads back to Bangkok, Thailand to fly to South Africa. Once again, I don’t know exactly where I will be in South Africa or what my ministry will look like, but, for once, I don’t care about that. I know God will place me where I am supposed to be, and I am learning how to love that feeling! I would love and appreciate for all of y’all to continue to pray for my squad and I!
It’s been a hot minute or so since I have posted my last blog. There is a lot to catch everyone up on. First thing first, I have been living outside of a small village in Kandal, Cambodia. I live in a house with a small classroom attached. I got a team change! I am now on a team with 5 amazing girls. My team and I teach little kids English in the mornings and at night time, we have a study group with teenagers. I have only been here for three weeks, yet it has been the hardest month for me so far.
When I signed up for the race, I knew that it meant signing up for God to grow, stretch, and challenge me like never before. I knew that would be a painful process, but I never thought that while I was in that process, I would want to quit and go home. However, the entire three weeks I have been in Kendal, Cambodia, that is all I have wanted to do.
Cambodia is differently than I ever thought it would be. As soon as I entered this country, I felt an over whelming oppression and when I got to my ministry site, it got worse. I’ve never considered much of a “spiritual” person before, but being here I became aware of all of the devious and violent sprits around me. There is such a powerful darkness here. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced. On some days, it literally feels like I am staring satan in the eyes.
Everyday I wake up here is a battle. On most days, my joy and strength is gone before I even leave my tent. The place that I am in spiritually, is rough. It is full of depression and loneliness, and as much as I hate being here, I know crazy, amazing truths about my God. My God is loving and compassionate. He is joyful and full of mercy. I know that He only wants what is best for me. Therefore I know that God wouldn’t allow me to be in this place if He didn’t plan to do big things through it, and that gives me the tiny ounce of comfort and hope to keep my faith in God until He chooses to deliver me from this place.
Another thing that has been weighing on my heart is my purpose on the world race. When I first thought of the world race, and specifically working with children, I had big plans. I thought that I would helping get kids of horrible situations and protecting them from all of the bad in this world. However, being in a place where I interact with children who come from both physically and sexual abusive situations, I realize how wrong my ideas were. You see, as much as I want to be able to, I cannot save these children. Only God can save them. God brought me here to simply love and to show love to them. Sometimes, that frustrates me, because I know how much there is to be done here, but then I realize how powerful love and showing God’s love is. I am learning to never under-estimate God’s love and what He can accomplish through it!
I was talking to my AMAZING squad mentor Lizi last week, and she reminded me of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel. In this story, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are told to worship another God, and when they don’t, they get thrown into a blazing furnace. In chapter 3, verse 24 it says, “then king Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.” He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like the son of the gods!” I love that story so much and hearing it again was a much needed reminder that God is always with us. God wasn’t just watching Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the outside. He was in the fire with them and God is in the fire with not only me, but the children I am surrounded by too. Eventually, God will deliver us all from this place, unbound and unharmed, just like He did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego!
I am only in Cambodia for a few days more until my squad and I heads back to Bangkok, Thailand to fly to South Africa. Once again, I don’t know exactly where I will be in South Africa or what my ministry will look like, but, for once, I don’t care about that. I know God will place me where I am supposed to be, and I am learning how to love that feeling! I would love and appreciate for all of y’all to continue to pray for my squad and I!
