3 months. That is all the time I have left before I launch onto a journey across the world. It’s a dream come true! In approximately 90 days I will be joining strangers into unfamiliar land, experiencing unfamiliar cultures, battling through the good and bad… did God truly choose the right person? Am I good enough for such a huge task? As I allow these sorts of thoughts to sink in, it becomes less and less of what I initially thought was a dream.
This past May has been a busy and stressful time. From working 7-10 hour shifts, finals, doing ministry, moving out of my dorm, fundraising, doctor appointments, online shopping for World Race gear… my goodness, the list was never ending (or so I felt). As I’ve been so caught up in accomplishing everything on my ‘to-do’ list, I realized that I’ve also been drained mentally, emotionally, physically and I hate to admit it, but even spiritually.
I heard once that often times, the heart of the issue is an issue of the heart. Unfortunately, having a check mark next to every ‘to-do’ didn’t equal more energy. Outwardly, it may seem that I’ve been quite productive.. inwardly, however, was a different story. I’ve allowed my worries, doubts and fears to dissipate my energy. But even these were simply symptoms. The issue of my heart was that my eyes were no longer fixed on Him. When had I ceased trusting?
But you know the great thing about a God whose love is unconditional is this… He never, not even for a split second, gives up on you! Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” So as I continue to prepare for my trip, I am reminded daily to be still (Ps 46:10).
I apologize for the short post, but I want to ask something of all my supporters. If you can, please pray:
…that I won’t take any weight with me on the Race. More specifically, that I let go of the “what could’ve beens” in my life and know that His plans are far better than mine.
…that God will take hold of my insecurities, guard my thoughts, and grant me strength to pursue my mission.
and lastly …that I be still, trust, and allow God to direct my every step.
Isaiah 12:2 says, “I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; He has given me victory.”
