This month has been one of the biggest roller coaster rides of my life and unfortunately for my adrenaline-junkie side my feet have never left the ground, except to fall on my knees. I have felt every emotion I can think of: frustration, anger, joy, thankfulness, desperation, fear, courage, sadness, happiness, failure, peace, love.
I have fallen down from old lies and insecurities. I have fought when I had nothing left in me, with a strength not of my own. I have forgiven and loved more than I thought I could. I have felt overwhelming peace fall on a room full of chaos, and seen more miracles than I can count on my fingers. Its been a heck of a month for lack of better words: I am SO ready to be leaving tomorrow for a new start, yet so thankful for all of the things I have learned this month. The Lord has put Romans 8:28 on my heart as it stood true every single day.
" For we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28
I don't want to dwell on the negative, but by giving you a little glimpse of it, the positive will be that much more miraculous. Sometimes without the pain, the joy looses its splendor.
We ended up having to move locations a week into our month for a variety of reasons not worth mentioning, but it brought upon feelings of failure, frustration, being a burden, uselessness, and great division in our team. The day after our move we found ourselves back in the hospital this time with two team members diagnosed with severe malaria. The hospital had only caused us heartache and tension when it came to team unity the entire month before. Once at the hospital, we were greatly misunderstood due to poor communication and felt helpless. Not to mention one of our teammates had just had a seizure and all of us were in the room to witness and be appalled at the staff taking 45 min to get a doctor in the room. We were tossed in the waves by constantly changing plans, I thought I was going to South Africa 10 different times. By the time we left the hospital for a break, with Jenni en route to South Africa and her parents on the way, and Micah being moved to a place with better care, I had slept no more than 6 hours total in the previous 3 nights combined. The two days after I was still in a funk. Absolutely exhausted and drug down by all of the things that had happened that were out of my control and frustrated from the ones that were in it. Thats when I wrote out the whole experience and was taken aback by all of the Amazing things God had done to work this for our good and His great purpose.
Here are some of the miracles and ways I saw my great God work this last week:
1. When we first got both of the girls tested for Malaria, they couldn't draw Micah's blood and Jenni tested negative. Two days later we took both back and found the first test had been a false negative: both were then diagnosed with Malaria. Had we not taken Jenni back, it would have been at least two more days before she got the critical treatment that she needed.
2. Our move to a different location took us out of our individual tents and into a team hut. The first night, I was able to stay up all night and care for the girls who had fevers, were severely dehydrated, dizzy and throwing up their medicine. In our tents, they would have been by themselves.
3. Honestly, Micah was the only one I was worried about at first. Jenni was sick, but Micah was scaring me. It was only because of the initial severity of Micah's illness that we decided to just take Jenni along to the hospital too, though hers was more a precaution ( in my eyes… not our Fathers.)
4. When we were trying to admit them to the hospital, we were told it was impossible to put both the girls in a private room because there was only one available. Seeing as Micah was more sick, we decided that would be more crucial for her and were planning on putting Jenni in a general ward. After some miscommunication between the staff, and necessity of giving the girls IV's ASAP, both were put into the same private room and another patient was moved.
5. On the second morning, Sarah and I left for a few hours of rest. Our SQL's were with the girls, but one was sick and tried to get medical attention while they were at the hospital. They were in and out of the girls room, for 3 hours, checking on the girls diligently but leaving them alone for extended periods of time. If Jenni's seizure had happened in the morning, nobody would have been there to help.
6. One of the only times the entire day that the healthy four of my team were in the room along with the two SQL's , is when Jenni's seizure happened. The healthy Sheila's were in the process of walking out of the room to leave the girls in our SQL's care for the night, had it been 5 minutes later we would have been gone. It was perfect because everyone had a role: Travy and I supported Jenni to make sure she didn't fall or hurt herself, Sarah got a shaken Micah out of the room, Tess and Brit ran to get help from the medical staff, and Shayna was frozen from fear but prayed fervently.
7. Although some of us had seen a seizure before, none had been so up front and personal. We were shaken up and not quite sure what to do after, and most of the medical staff was no where to be found. Luckily, Tess had met an elderly American man who has a prayer ministry at the hospital. He had been the witness of multiple other seizures and helped us calm down and pray for Jenni when we didn't know what else to do.
8. After her seizure, we were flustered at the events, felt helpless, and were completely unsatisfied with the response of the medical team. Decisions had to be made one what to do next and wether staying in Swaziland was the best place for Jenni to continue treatment. Tess, Travy, Shanya, and I spent some time in prayer to calm ourselves and ask for the Lord's guidance. We all walked away with overwhelming peace in the midst of absolute chaos and a hundred phone calls from the States. Shayna felt she was going to be moved to South Africa but not immediately and Jesus just told me to stay and pray.
9. We called Jenni's parents to inform them of the days events, and Jenni possibly having cerebral malaria, which is very serious: her dad is a Physician and mom a Nurse, so they knew the danger. They were calm and collected on the phone and reminded us to trust our Father through this storm. They decided to come on the first available flight, had the flexibility to do so, and their trip ended up being paid for by her medical insurance.
10. The Chaos slowly eased after a few hours of absolute insanity and it was decided that Jenni and Micah would both stay put for the night, and be moved the next day. Brit and I were the ones who stayed with the girls. We were beyond exhausted but neither of our minds would let us rest until well after midnight. We wanted one person to stay awake with Jenni the whole night, so we took turns and both slept barely 2 hours each, and while awake we prayed. We both felt a hedge of protection around the room and woke up completely refreshed and strengthened, even though there was no way that was humanly possible: it was my 3rd night of minimal sleep.
11. When things were settled with both girls, Jenni en route to SA and Micah being cared for at a private Hospital that almost rivaled American standards. The other four of us, completely exhausted and drained were blessed to have a night of rest at a hotel and sleep in beds with a heated room rather than on the floor in the freezing Swazi mountains. Our loving parents paid for our night of rest and delicious dinner, and loved us so well from across the world. We all slept over 12 hours, cried to our moms, word-vomited on loving friends and boyfriends, toasted to our God working through these trials and began recovering from the trauma.
12. This month has been the hardest month to get wifi for my team on the race. And Micah, as soon as she moved to the new hospital was improving drastically. She also happened to be with our SQL Ed, who can make internet appear out of thin air. Micah missed her best friends wedding last Saturday and had we been at ministry there was NO way she would have been able to talk to Katherine before the wedding. At the hospital she got to skype into the rehearsal dinner and pray for her best friend before she entered into the incredible covenant of Marriage.
13. Jenni called us the first day after being medi-vacted to South Africa, and the sound of her voice brought tears to my eyes. We were talking to the real Jenni, our friend before she had become so severely ill. The day before she could hardly keep her eyes open, conversations were strained, confused and far between, she barely had the energy to go to the bathroom and was exhausted and sickly. 36 hours later I was talking to a miracle, we got to breath easy as we saw how powerful prayer is and were reminded that our Father is Jehovah Rapha, Healer.
14. Three days after Jenni being admitted into the ICU in South Africa, for the potential of cerebral malaria, she was able to go home: literally a medical miracle. The same day Micah was released to come back to us! Jenni got to spend an entire week recovering in a beautiful hotel room with the care of her loving parents, and Jenni and Micah ended up being released on the same day!
15. The few days before, and the week of the hospital itself were quite a trial for our team. And we are still waiting to be reunited with our beautiful, HEALTHY teammate in a few days. But as for now, we have learned a lot and let go of the things we no longer need to hold onto. We saw first hand how our perfect Daddy works all things for the good of those who love Him, though that doesn't mean its going to be easy.
" For we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
