The day before yesterday we stepped out of our usual work this month (yes, I know haven’t really talked about that much, but I will soon). We went into a tent city. In case you don’t know, a tent city is a plot of land that, before the earthquake, was a city park or just an open undeveloped area that is now filled, as far as the eye can see with tents and makeshift shelters. This is where…I don’t know even know many, but I’ll just say a whole, whole, lot of people who were displaced by the earthquake live.
Our missionary contacts took us here to distribute food and tracts. We had a huge box filled with 1000 pounds of pasta separated into 1 pound bags. The goal, as far as I could tell, was that 1000 people would each receive a bag of pasta and a tract.
At first, things were going well, but as soon as people saw what we were doing, it was chaos. People were swarming around our large flatbed truck. If we hadn’t been elevated as we were, with high sides surrounding the bed, we probably would have been run over and mugged. People were pushing each other out of the way. Grown men and women were shoving children. Some children who actually received pasta had it ripped out of their hands by adults.
I think I remember seeing one person that seemed to have genuine gratitude in their eyes. It seemed like everyone else was in “survival of the fittest” mode. I saw desperation, and my heart went out to them. At the same time I saw greed, and it made my spirit cold. Half a ton of pasta disappeared in less than 15 minutes. We held out empty hands and said “fini” (meaning “finished”) to show that we had no more. Looking out around us, I saw that some people had 3 or 4 bags under their arms, and a lot of people had none.
We’ve been told by the locals that for years and years countries like the U.S.A. have been just throwing money, food, and relief supplies at Haiti, but things are worse here than ever before. The infrastructure is so corrupt that millions and millions of dollars of Haitian relief go right into the pockets of greedy politicians. Despite that a lot of food and related charity do make it to the people, and the constant handouts have created a mindset that they can’t make it on their own, that they need handouts to survive, and that there isn’t enough to go around so they have to fight others out of the way to get whatever they can or someone else will.
As I looked out across the area, I saw a boy, no more than 9 years old, standing alone and looking around at everything that was happening. He seemed a little confused. In his eyes I didn’t see greed or selfishness; I saw hope. I saw a child who wasn’t desperate for a handout; he was desperate for answers, answers that I just might have.
He looked at me, and I smiled and waved. He smiled and waved back. For the first time in maybe my entire life, I believe I truly saw a stranger the way Jesus sees them. Tears came to my eyes and I turned away from the crowds to process and to gather myself. As we were preparing leave I saw him beside the truck. I looked at him and said, “Jezi t’aime” (Jesus loves you). He smiled and nodded.
So much of what God has been teaching me this month has revolved around challenging my perspective. The way I see myself, the way I see people around me, the way I see my marriage, the way I see my work…it’s all changing for the better.
Three months ago, being a part of an event like this would have driven me into cynicism and despair. I’d have thoughts of, “How can we fix this situation? Where is the hope?”
I could say, “This won’t help the big picture. This won’t fix the heart of the problem. We’re discouraging their confidence in their own self-sufficiency.” And you know what? Those things I could say are true.
But you know what else is true? In spite of the chaos, in spite of the complex social and spiritual factors surrounding the poverty of Haiti, and in spite of the difficulties and complications of trying to help and fix that problem…
1000 pounds of food went into a community that needs it. Dozens of people were seen reading tracts about how the paths of Satan lead to destruction in a country where about half of the population practices some kind of satanic magic. Dozens of people were told, in their language, “It’s in the name of Jesus that we’re here giving you food;” and I told a boy from the deepest part of my heart that Jesus loves him.
God was there.
