For the two and a half years between quitting football and hitting my all time low, I constantly regretted quiting football. I always wondered what it would be like to go back and try to play. There were two times that I almost seriously considered it. I actually went to talk to the coach both times. He told me to start working out and he would give me a chance, but he couldn’t promise anything. I just couldn’t break out of the funk that I was in. So I never really made any effort either time. So now that I was at my all time low I knew I needed some kind of extreme change in my life. I decided that I would try to go back to football. I knew it would be hard, but I also knew that the last time I was really happy or experiencing any kind of joy was when I was playing. I know now that football wasn’t what caused me to have or not have joy, but at the time that was the only logical conclusion I could make.
So I made up my mind, and I was going to play football again. When I went to talk to the coach I was a little surprised at how reacted. He told me that he thought it would be good for me. He attended the same church as my family, and he knew that I had been struggling for awhile. He said that some structure would be good for me. I agreed, and I hadn’t figured out how to implement any structure on my own. It had been almost three years since I had exercised regularly. I was about 35 lbs heavier than when I quit football, and as far as being in shape, well, round is a shape right? I started working with a trainer over Christmas break. I was working out twice a day and eating very healthy. I got lots of rest, good food, and exercise. My whole break was planned out for me, every day. Everything I did was organized and observed by a trained professional so it was very safe. I lost 27 lbs in 26 days. I felt incredible. I felt like a new person. Everyone was so encouraging to me, and I started feeling hopeful again. My coach was pretty surprised when I checked in when school started, but I was ready to show him and everyone else that I had what it took.
I was initially a little discouraged when we got in the weight room. I was already under-sized for playing on the defensive line, but now I was very weak and unpolished also. When we started lifting weights I was one of the, if not the weakest guys on the team. That was hard to accept, but by the end of the spring I was as strong as the weakest defensive lineman. I had made incredible progress in the weight room. Unfortunately my progress on the field wasn’t quite as commendable. I was very rusty, and most of the time felt like I was just a waste of everyone’s time. I felt good though, better than I had in three years. I had all kinds of ideas for training over the summer, and I knew that everyone was going to be blown away at my progress. There was only one thing that could stop all of my plans from going through, my grades. I only passed on class during the previous semester. Because of NCAA regulations, I had to pass 15 hours in the spring and 6 hours in the summer. I didn’t try my best in any classes that spring, but there was one class that I wasn’t able to squeeze by. I failed that class and that was the one thing that couldn’t happen. Now all my hard work was down the drain. I was so embarrassed. I had worked hard in the things that I enjoyed but not in the things that I didn’t enjoy. I didn’t let it ruin me though. I was really excited and what I had accomplished. I was in great shape for the first time in forever, and I felt like I had really proved something with my physical achievements. The hardest thing was facing everyone and admitting that I hadn’t done my best in the classroom.
To be continued…
