Pretty much as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of rejection and not been confident in who God has made me to be. In sports I always thought IF I was just a little taller and bigger maybe I would have had a better chance to be someone. When it comes to music I thought IF I could only sing better or play the guitar better, then I could be a good worship leader. The biggest struggle has been something that I’ve faced for as long as I can remember. I always thought IF I was a little more outgoing then maybe I would fit in better.
I came into this month of manistry knowing that I was so different from the other 13 guys. I knew that everyone else has struggled and still have other struggles, but I was very confident that no one would understand how I feel or where I come from. Sure enough, God has shown me that I couldn’t have been MORE wrong. Guess what. They understand me. They get me. I’m not the only insecure one. I’m not the only that doesn’t have “it” all together.
This month has been an incredible time for us to grow together and build each other up. I think we all came into this month hoping for God to break down the walls between us and help us be more vulnerable, but I don’t think any of us knew He was going to do it right away. I’m so incredibly blessed to have such men of God pour into me this year, especially during this month of manistry. I thank God for each and everyone of them for they are all unique and have a special purpose in His Kingdom.
I’m also blessed more than I can really understand to have such an incredible wife. It’s been challenging to be away fom each other, but I know how God is strenthening us so much this month. Erin gave me a stack of notes right before I left. She told me there was one for every day of this month. She wrote on each card a characteristic that God revealed to her about me. To be completely honest most of the words aren’t words that I would normally use to describe myself. But through lot’s of prayer I’m beginning to see myself in a new way. Today’s word was confident. I’m learning to trust in the truth that God made me unique, and I’m walking by faith with confidence. So be thankful for how God has made you and walk in confidence knowing that He made you. And He doesn’t make mistakes.
“Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.” Psalm 27:3 ESV
