If you have ever met my wife you know how truly AMAZING she is. She is my wife, best friend, soul mate and lover (ewwww, gross, sick, that's Kelsey's response as she reads this). To me she is smart, witty, insightful, 100% trustworthy, just down right fun, breathtakingly gorgeous, kind, loving, but she has also become an idol to me . . .
I googled searched the definition of idol, the top website definition was an image used as an object of worship or a false god – more on the definition in a little bit.
Last month while our squad was in Thailand, they completely split up the men and women of the squad. Aka my wife and I were not together for the first time while on the race. And to be 100% honest we were both kinda excited about being apart. By that I mean that we have been together for 7 months straight, never really getting a break from each other. . . For you single people if you don't understand what I'm getting at and think I'm a horrible husband, please find a happily married person and they will explain it to you. Married peoples, you know what I mean.
But over the last month something was confirmed inside me that I've had suspensions of for awhile. I have turned my wife into an idol. Some of you are probably thinking, so what's his problem. . . he loves his wife too much, isn't a good thing? Loving your wife too much isn't a bad thing by any means, but what you put your wife above, now that matters. Throughout our marriage I have put Kelsey ahead of God and that really isn't a good thing when you call yourself a Christian. . .
This is a tough situation to explain and to wrap my brain around. My wife has the ability to control my emotional well being and state of mind (through no actions or faults of her own). Over time I have unknowingly given her the authority over my emotional and spiritual lives. Last month being away from her left like me feeling incomplete. The reason that I felt incomplete was the fact that I put more stock into what Kelsey thinks of me, than I do of God. By not trusting in God to fill me up emotionally and spiritually it has left a void in me that I have placed on Kelsey. So in essence, Kelsey is my idol, my false god. . .
There are 2 huge problems with Kelsey being my idol/false god. If I idolize Kelsey I am taking away love from our REAL God. And remember that we worship a jealous God, he despises the worship of any other idols, the first commandment says it all. The second issue is that Kelsey is human, meaning that she will fail time and time again. It's not that she's a failure, its just that she is human and humans are natural born sinners, she can't help it. I am placing my identity into a flawed idol. And through discussing this with her, it's not fair on her that I place my well being in her hands.
Do you have any idols in you life? Just remember that the idol doesn't necessarily have to be a sinful thing, it could be your job, sports, the way you look, your kids, a hobby, your image, in moderation these are ALL ok things. Its just when we place these above God that we run into a problem. When we make these things our identity.
Something I am working on is placing my identity in GOD and not KELSEY. It won't be easy for me, because for the last 5 plus years that's how I've operated. . . But as a child of God I know it's what I need to do. Not only for Him, but also for me.
