“It’s not about me.” These were four of the more convicting words I had heard in a while, and they came from the lips of a beautiful seventeen year old girl named Ashley. It was Wednesday night, youth group night, and the high school girls and we leaders were sitting and discussing faith and doubt. Ashley had spoken about the challenges she is currently facing, then later came back to share that she’s realized that her experiences and the difficulties she faces really aren’t about her at all. “If we take even five minutes to stop thinking about ourselves, we’d realize that it’s about God and His glory.”
Wow. This was definitely the message I needed to hear tonight and for the past several weeks. It’s amazing how a message and understanding you’re so familiar with can hit you upside the head at a critical moment.
I’ve been stressing about World Race. I’ve been focusing on the challenge of leaving for a year, of quitting my job and selling our stuff, of not having health insurance and of living out of a backpack for 11 months. I’ve considered the hardships of literally having almost no alone time, of not being comfortable, of having to eat fish, and of leaving behind my one true comfort item, Clementine. In other words, I’ve been focusing on me.
But it’s not about me, and I needed to hear that tonight. This trip, this period of time, and in all honesty my life, are not about me. They are about God and His glory. Yes, I’m probably going to be uncomfortable on this trip and I’m definitely leaving behind things that are important to me and to our society. I will also certainly be tested physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will crave feeling normal, accepted, clean. But this is about Him. God is allowing Dave and me to have this opportunity so that we can somehow reflect His beauty and grace. He is calling us to follow and to serve Him for His purpose, not our own.
Up to this point, I’ve had the wrong mindset. I think it’s about time I see and accept reality for what it is. I’ve been given (and am always given) the awesome responsibility and opportunity to let God’s light shine through me in whatever way He sees fit. My lack of understanding of my circumstances, however dismal they may appear, is not of importance when compared to what He is doing. Being willing to trust God’s grace and goodness, His will above mine, is what will make this whole thing possible. As I finally give this great task over to Him, I thank Him for his love and His patience with me.
And I thank Him that it’s not about me. God can do great things in and through me because He wants to. It’s not about me!
