Diving into the liminal space

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an update. As I sit and consider what to write, one thing sticks out – liminality.

 

Liminality – of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition :
in-between,
transitional “in the liminal state between life and death” –
Deborah Jowitt. I appreciate Deborah’s quote at the end of this. I think it’s from a play she wrote, but that’s not important.

 

I’ve been reading From Wild Man to Wise Man: Reflections on Male Spirituality, by Richard Rohr recently. “Liminal space,” as he calls it, is the between stage of death and life. Liminal space is when you’re on the verge of greatness, yet plagued by uncertainty; it’s right after the battle for a new level of life and awareness was at the apex of its intensity and swung the way of newness; it’s when you hit the end of yourself and realize there’s something awesome in front of you, yet you are completely incapable of taking it. It’s letting go, relinquishing control and accepting the change. It’s making a decision to allow a part of you to die so that you can live to a fuller degree. You can’t manipulate your way into or out of liminal space, you can only accept or reject it when it comes.

 

Like Jonah, you can either be killed in the boat by the storm, or allow yourself to die by jumping into the waves… only to find that God takes you into his protecting and guiding hand, which may look more like the ugly innards of a fish. The time in the fish is that liminal space between death and life. And then you wait.

 

So what does this look like for me?

 

About  a month ago a thought came to me – “Go to Haiti.” People began asking me about it without my prompting, so I dedicated it to consideration and prayer. Shortly afterward when I asked God if I should go, he spoke to me several times that I should and confirmed it with through a few others. Then, about a week ago, I made my decision to step out of Nicaragua and go to Haiti, not knowing what this will look like.

 

A few months ago my friend, Baker, and I moved into a pretty comfortable house. We have wireless internet, a fully furnished kitchen, living room, three bedrooms and “chill” room. It’s great! We enjoy ourselves and for a very reasonable price. Sure, I’m in the second poorest country in the west, but I can easily get my hands on some quality food and go see a movie at the theater on the weekends. It’s not that hard here.

 

I’ll be leaving this behind and going to the poorest country in the west. I’ll be leaving the house and personal space behind to live in community and, more than likely, a tent. I’m leaving my comfort and security and stepping into brokenness and uncertainty. Haiti has literally been torn apart, but there are awesome reports of how it is on the mend. God is doing a new thing in that country and the Spirit is moving in tremendous ways! There is this feeling inside of me that says, “Yes! This is good. This is the Kingdom.” I’m stepping out in faith and am waiting on God. There are dreams I have of my future, but I’m putting them on the line. I’ve got my hopes and prayers, things I believe the Lord has spoken to me, but they are not for now. I believe faithfulness in this will lead to a new level of freedom, life and kingdom awareness, but the passage there is through darkness and uncertainty.