I’m not very in touch with my emotions. It’s hard for me to show my feelings. My heart means well, it just doesn’t show very easily.
Once, about a year ago, my sisters were going into work with me (we were working at the AIM office at the time). They, as usual, had spent half the morning in the bathroom, their domain, making themselves look better. God knows what goes on in there, but fantastic noises creep through the cracks around the door suggesting grand machinery. After several hours inside that room, they hop into the car smelling all nice and looking all pretty. Well I drove the five minute trip to the office and thought I should probably comment on these things.
“Everyone looks pretty,” I said very matter-of-factly as I stepped out of the driver’s seat.
My sisters know me well. They know it’s the rare occasion that I say this type of thing. Well they got all giddy and smiley and gave me hugs and “awe Seth”s. It’s nice to get that sometimes. But all that to say I generally don’t express myself very well in conversation, even more so my emotions.
* * *
My dad and spiritual dad have been going thru some good transitions recently and I feel the weight of it in my gut. It’s something that comes sometimes by the Spirit and sometimes from simply hearing it from them. I wake up in the morning and stumble over my words for about thirty minutes, trying to tell God how I feel about it and trying to figure out how to pray for them.
This morning after I began the stumbling process again, God told me to go to the ducks.
*There’s this park with a pond and ducks nearby. It’s a great place for relaxation, prayer and reflection.
So to the ducks I went. I watched them for a while, noticing how they waddle, how they tuck their heads neatly between their wings clear behind them, how they float and use their feet to shift directions and propel themselves, and how healthy they all look.
“These ducks are never concerned,” God said. “They know that today I will feed them and give them what they need. They aren’t afraid of the future. And I do and will continue to take care of them. How much more my children who love me?” (Isn’t that also in the Bible somewhere?) “Your fathers have given their lives for me. I watch them each day to see what they’ll do and I am pleased. My hand is on them, directing them always. They will find clarity and peace. And so will you,” he said.
Then I went about praising Lord and speaking in tongues.
