Yesterday marked exactly a week before Training Camp. It was exactly a week before I would drive to Georgia and meet the squad of people that I have been slowly getting to know since January. It would make sense for a week out to have an array of emotions and thoughts regarding training camp: nerves, anxiety, and excitement. And I guess I had some of those emotions, but yesterday, exactly a week before Training Camp, I added a few more emotions because I changed SQUADS and ROUTES.
As of yesterday I will now be leaving with V squad and spending all 11 months of mission work in Asia. I will now be serving in: China, Mongolia, Japan, Nepal, India, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Philippines and Indonesia.
The timing is far from perfect, but I feel like this is where the Holy Spirit is guiding me and where I am being called to serve for this next year.
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I had never wanted to travel to Asia. I actually think I told someone once that I would be ok with being a missionary anywhere but Asia. I have known missionaries to different countries all throughout Asia, and I loved hearing their stories but at the end of the conversations I would walk away with one thought ringing through my head, “I don’t ever want to be a missionary in Asia.”
Well now I feel like God was playing some big joke on me!
My heart started to change around the time when I began seminary. I was learning to look at the world in new ways and I was being introduced to problems throughout the world that I had never paid attention to before. As a woman in ministry, I found that my heart was breaking for any and all types of women’s issues throughout the world. It was at this point I started becoming intrigued by Asia. I know that sounds really general but it is true. I wasn’t yet interested in particular countries but I was intrigued by the culture and way of life that had a huge impact on the life of women throughout the continent.
My interest in Asia began so gradually that I didn’t even really notice it was happening, but my heart and my desires were definitely beginning to change.
Fast-forward a little bit to being accepted on the World Race. I picked my previous route based on three factors: 1. It spent 6 months in Asia, 2. It went to Europe, 3. There would be really adventurous things I would be able to do in the African countries.
I didn’t realize that this was my motivation until my route first started to change. The European countries began to move around and I was frustrated. I wasn’t frustrated because the countries were changing (that is something to expect on the World Race), but I was frustrated because my factors were no longer being met in the ways that I wanted them to be.
It was then that I began to realize that I was still holding on to my own plans and my own desires rather than fully surrendering myself to God and where God was calling me.
At this point I was desperately clinging to my 6 months in Asia. I was confident that I was being called there and that my desire for those countries was created by God. Being confident in 6 months of the trip was good enough, right?
Over the next few months I found myself scanning the different routes that were launching in September. You know how when you open your computer you have a habit of going straight to Facebook and scanning it for a few minutes before starting whatever you were actually intending to do. Well, that is what the All Asia route became for me.
It feels like I found myself looking at the list of countries on the All Asia route everyday. But I always pushed the idea out of my mind. I had already spent so much time and so many months getting to know the other members of my squad. I had already formed deep friendships with some of my squad mates. Plus, I have never actually been to any Asian countries, what if I get there and hated it but would be stuck there for 11 months. These were the thoughts that perpetually played on a reel in my head.
I had so much fear about leaving the people that I had already started to get to know and so much fear about spending 11 months in a place that was completely unfamiliar.
But thankfully God is bigger than my fear and my plans.
So, as I was preparing for Training Camp I found myself reflecting back on how I got to this place. I began by looking through my prayer journal and the one thing that kept standing out to me was how much I wrote and prayed about the All Asia route. I always prayed for clarity and prayed for discernment on whether I was actually being called to the All Asia route. It was in this time of reflection that I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that I was already given clarity months ago, but I just hadn’t accepted it. I was still grasping at the plans that I had created and the 11 months that I had already prepared for. When I was accepted to the World Race I knew God was calling me to surrender all of myself: my possessions, my life plan, and my worldly comforts. In this moment I realized that this was another way God was calling me to surrender myself.
And so now I find myself on a new route, a new squad, and 11 new countries. While it looks and sometimes feels like a lot has changed, the amount of peace I have is indescribable. God planted a seed in my heart and has been nurturing that seed without me even realizing. I look forward to 11 months in Asia, and I look forward to sharing this journey with you!
