“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Psalm 9:9
On Tuesday, November 26 I received one of the most dreaded phone calls of my life. You never think it’ll happen to you. You never think it’ll be your family and your dad. But this time it was.
I received a FaceTime call from my parents explaining that my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 head and neck cancer. My world came crashing down before my eyes and it was all I could do to stare back at them as my eyes welled up with tears and my lips quivered with fear and disbelief. I don’t really even remember what I was thinking in those moments. All I knew was that I wanted more than anything to be there sitting next to my dad holding him and telling him how much I loved him, but instead I was speechless, crying, and sitting half a world away from him in northern Thailand.
Teammates and squad leaders immediately surrounded me and held me as my body crumpled and tears streamed down my face. They loved me fiercely and supported me like the true Body of Christ. The rest of my team joined me in a 3 day fast where we prayed and interceded on behalf of my dad. Those days have forever changed my perspective on the power of Christian community and what it means to have friends who really walk alongside you. Everyday my bed was filled with notes, special treats, and people who just wanted to sit there with me and cry and then laugh when needed. I will never be able to forget the love that I felt during those few days.
(Thank you Team Mosaic and S Squad!)
After a few days of praying, talking with my family, and discussing things with my squad leaders, I felt more and more peace about where the Lord wanted me to be during this time, at home. This was one of the hardest things to do, but easiest decisions to make. For the past 23 years, my dad has dropped anything and everything to be there for me and there was no question that I was going to do the same thing for him. There are few times in life where you really have to look at your life and decide what’s important to you. To me, God comes first and then my family comes shortly after. I’ve learned more and more about how family is such a precious gift from the Lord and since seeking Him with my whole heart, my love and appreciation for my family has grown exponentially. Family is something to be cherished and fought for. My family has fought for me my entire life, and now it’s my turn to step in and fight for them.
So, right now I’m back home unaware of what the future holds, but knowing sure well that it is the Lord who holds it. I’m walking alongside my family during the toughest times we’ve ever experienced. I’m learning more and more everyday about how I have to drop my expectations of what I think my life is supposed to look like and surrender that to the Lord and say “yes” to whatever it is He calls me to. I thought my plans for the next 11 months were a secure thing when I signed up for the World Race. Cancer was never suppose to happen. I was never suppose to have to leave my “route” and change my plans. They were my plans, right?
It’s funny how we think we own our time. I used to think I could dictate and plan how my time was spent, acting like I had complete ownership over it. But really, we do not own the time we have. We are simply stewards of the time God has given us and we can’t be selfish or controlling with that. I’m learning more and more that we have to surrender it to God and be willing to drop all of our plans in order to follow where He is leading us. We have to walk in obedience every second of every day, even if that looks completely different than you’d expected. I thought I knew exactly where I’d be during December of 2013, Cambodia. But nope, God knew the whole time I’d be in Athens, Georgia… which I’m learning is exactly where I’m suppose to be.
As of right now, my plan is to hopefully return back to the race beginning in January, but I’m praying through all of it right now and really just trying to be patient and listen to the Lord as He guides and directs me. Please pray with me about this. Pray for clarity and peace. Pray that during my time at home I can be fully present and not worrying about the next step or decisions that need to be made. Pray that reentry into the States will be a smooth process for me and not a distraction from the reason I’m home.
Pray for my dad. We are praying for complete healing and believing fully that the Lord is good and He is the ultimate Healer. We are learning how to walk without fear through a naturally scary process. We are not looking at the things that are seen, but rather hoping for what is unseen (2 Corinthians 4:18). We have a good God, and amazing God, and He loves us all so much. When we have God on our side, there is absolutely no reason to fear. He is all-powerful and so good and full of love and compassion and we can trust Him. We know that in everything, God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and that He will be glorified through this. That is our hope, that the Lord is glorified and we are again reminded of His goodness and love for us.
Thank you to everyone who is walking alongside us in this and praying with us. We can have joy through these tough times because the Lord is good and our hearts rejoice in Him, throughout every season.
