During Training Camp a member of my squad had a “Word” for me. By that I mean a word from God. His name was Sam. He wrote it down on a small piece of notebook paper and handed it to me. My first initial reaction, if being completely honest was suspicion. Did this man really just hear from the God of all creation? As I read the hand written note, it struck a cord with in me.
“Your stature can only be perceived by me. You WILL reach the highs I have planned for you. Love as I love. Step up, step out and I will catch you.”
I had been struggling with self-confidence because of past influences. I was doubting that God could use a person like me. I was afraid that my heart couldn’t bare the things this world was about to reveal to me. I wasn’t sure that I could continue on with this Mission with out falling on my face. This short interaction gave me the strength I needed in that moment.
It wasn’t too long after, when the negative thoughts began to slip back into my mind. Was that really the Holy Spirit? Was he just saying nice words and I somehow formed them to what I wanted to believe? Why did God tell him and if it was really for me, where was the confirmation?
I kept the note in my journal that I carry pretty much everywhere. And everywhere I went it had a way of falling out. I have even had a person or two run up to me and tell me I had dropped something. You can imagine by now I have those words memorized but my stubborn flesh kept questioning.
A few nights ago, my oldest sister showed me one of her favorite scriptures. Jeremiah 1:5-10. I was astounded it was everything I felt plus more. It was about being called into the nations, about knowing that God has given us value and purpose. That even though we doubt ourselves, that he is with us even in the words we speak. He will rescue us whenever needed and we shouldn’t be afraid because he has appointed us.
I felt the same cord struck once again. It was time to stop my doubt and walk in faith. God is getting me ready for a remarkable journey, but I can be so stubborn sometimes. Thankfully he is right there to remind me, I’m so thankful for a patient and loving father.
