108 days
….that’s how long it has been since this blog has been updated.
I’ve been home from the Race for 104 days. I could have taken any one of those 2496 hours to stop and write a blog…but I didn’t.
Today, I’m breaking the silence.
My heart is grieved at how long it has taken me to take this small step of obedience to the Father. He’s been calling me to writing…not just in my journal, not just those doodles and scribbles that I get lost with Him in for hours. He wants me to write for you. Yes, YOU. He told me on the Race that my words touch your heart and point you to Him. He told me that you would let Him in through my words, that my words would finally bring you to a place where He could finally heal that broken place in your heart.
So, if I know that blogging is a ministry the Lord has called me to, why haven’t I been doing it? Why the silence? Why the delayed obedience disobedience?
It’s not because He hasn’t reminded me. He gives me gentle nudges EVERY SINGLE WEEK without fail. He gives me revelations and wisdom and gentleness to share with you and still, I didn’t write.
It’s not because I don’t have time. It took me months – do you hear me? – MONTHS to get my pharmacist license here. While I wasn’t completely flailing, I had time (even with our combined EIGHT trips to the DMV) and still, I didn’t write.
It’s not because I didn’t have something to write about. Many Racers feel like their lives are no longer exciting enough to write about when they come home to America. I have felt quite the opposite and still, I didn’t write.
It’s not because I didn’t feel His presence. At one time, I feared coming home from the Race would be like that post-church camp experience from mountaintop high to valley low, but it’s been nothing like that and still, I didn’t write.
Maybe it’s because I was tired. Maybe it’s because I had already shared the most vulnerable part of my heart. Maybe it’s because I was struggling a little with life in Georgia. Or maybe it’s because we were all taking turns thinking about Abraham Lincoln – my squadmate, Pamela, recently informed me that’s what silence means – silly me, I’d always heard and liked to believe it meant an angel was flying over!
To be honest, I’m not even sure I know the “why?” but I do know that today, I’m breaking the silence. I know that today, I’m taking a step of obedience and making a huge commitment to keep blogging.
For now, it will take place here, because I’m not sure God is finished writing our WR journey but I’m open to the Lord growing this ministry He has given me and I’m so excited to see where He takes us! Yes, us – that includes YOU! You are such an important part of this journey. Your love and support and encouragement and accountability are vital.
Thank you for loving Jay and I. Thank you for encouraging us. Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for being along for the ride!
….and thank you JESUS for gentle conviction, patience without measure, and instilling a deep passion in me to bring your intimate, unending affections to your sons and daughters.
Stay tuned…and stop spending so much time pondering Honest Abe 😉 Instead, ponder that which you have delayed obedience in, that thing that you have disobeyed in. What is the Lord calling you to commit to? How is He calling you to love in this season? How is He calling you to be a light in this present darkness?
Say yes to Jesus and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime!
Jenn Dannelley