I’m not sure how much you have all heard of the shootings lately – we
haven’t seen much news on it around here, but for anyone who is
interested, I am sharing an e-mail from Jessie Smith, the 18 year old
daughter of one of our church elders. Both she and her brother, Jed
(23) are in programs at New Life Church. This is her journal entry from
that evening. It’s long and some sentences bear less importance than
others, but it’s a good reminder of God’s faithfulness. I don’t know
how to understand this whole thing – God protecting some people and not
others. I’m really wrestling over this, I guess because it’s a place
and people close to me. I don’t understand the injustice of it all – of
all the shootings. I guess all I can know is that God is still good and
still sovereign, even when I don’t understand. But anyway, here’s her
e-mail. The names are mostly friends of her’s that are in the 24/7
program with her. Brady is the senior pastor there.
Today, December 9th 2007, the day of the shooting. I
woke up at 5:30 got up and got ready to go to the café. I was
determined to have a good attitude even though I was SO tired. Today
was evidence that your attitude is a choice and all mental, I hate to
admit but it’s true because I was in a great mood and singing all
morning in the café. It was also gratifying because I got to talk to
Adriana (a girl from the youth group whom I’ve befriended) about her
boyfriend and help her with that. JD and Grider left at 9 thirty to go
to the Broncos game with Kent and Joe Couch. Surprisingly I wasn’t too
sad that they left. I have such peace about them not being there, I
know there is a reason those two weren’t supposed to be there this
morning. I don’t know if its because they would have already been in
the foyer and have gotten shot or if their “hero” spirits would’ve
gotten the best of them and they would’ve run towards the killer and
gotten shot.
Hannah Lohner, Brandon Cone, and Steph Foley were all on a
skiing trip and I know they weren’t supposed to be there either,
because they would’ve been in that foyer socializing. At around 12:45,
I was out in the foyer by guest services and I Jed and talked to him
for a while and I got to watch him walk out the door. I normally
wouldn’t have been out of the café and I wouldn’t have seen him leave.
I know it was God letting me see him leave with my own eyes so that the
rest of the day I didn’t have to worry about him. Thank you Father.
After saying good-bye to Jed I went back to the café and all the
workers had come back from the second service so I was just taking it
easy and hanging out with Jeff Jones and he and Nick Zachmen were
teaching me how to use the espresso machine. We made Jeff jones’
special which I named the Jelusa
(show’s you that I was in a really goofy mood) just minutes before the
shooting. So then I’m leaning against the counter next to a 247 boy I
don’t remember who though drinking my coffee. When all the sudden we
see this sheet of people all running as fast as they could toward the
door with panicky looks on their faces. I didn’t’ hear the gun shot.
All of 247 in the café just froze, we didn’t know what was happening.
I
thought it was a fire drill or a joke and then Van Dyke and other 247
guys and Taylor Brook started yelling and they pushed us in through the
kitchen and through the theater. I was still so confused and didn’t
know what was happening. As we were running through the theater I heard
a super loud gun shot right outside the theater where the Mill usually
has coffee. If the gunman had come into the theater the only people he
could’ve shot were from 247 because we were the only ones who ran
through there. I praise God, because it was only a wall separating us
from the shooter. When I heard the gun shot I realized that this was
real and the shooter was VERY close, we ran out the exit and came out
by the playground (which I later found out that the gunman’s driver was
right over there and maybe saw us). We then ran behind dumpsters and
started praying and calling other 247 people to make sure everyone was
accounted for. This is where missions training kicked in, all I could
think of was where was my team and where were the men on my team to
protect me. I was trying to find Mat Lujan and Adam. Adam and Mat found
me quickly and Adam stayed with me till we got to safety. After that we
had to run to “L3” (the basement of the WPC) and each girl was with a
guy and so Adam and I ran from the Pikes Peak parking lot to WPC with
Ben Johnson leading us.
stayed in the basement for probably an hour. During this time people
weren’t panicked but were praying with each other and singing worship
songs. Melissa, Autumn and I were very worried because no one had heard
from Julianna yet. So we were praying hard for her and finally Sara
Lara came and told us she was alright. It was when we were all sitting
around when I overheard a 10-13 year old black boy tell how he saw a
man running as hard as he could down the hallway and then hitting the
ground hard because he got shot in the back. That broke me down right
there because I was so heartbroken that this young child witnessed
someone die. I’m so pissed at the devil for having the gunman run down
the Sunday school hallway so that the kids could witness it. My heart
is breaking. While in the WPC, cops were surrounding the building,
inside and out. When we had to go to the bathroom we had to go 5 at a
time. We were in the WPC till about 5pm. They started letting us leave,
but as we left they had to get our name, address, age and phone
numbers. Then each person was escorted to their car by a police man.
After that we headed over to the Hildebrants and all of 247 (minus
Julianna and Jaron) met there and aaron stern came and talked with us
for a little while and we all prayed and ate.
of the reasons that I know God had his had upon it was that if it had
been maybe ten minutes earlier way more people would’ve been in the
church foyer right after the message. Also 247 decided to have a
dismissal meeting that day and we rarely ever have dismissal meetings
on Sundays. This was so God’s hand because if they hadn’t had the
meeting 247 would’ve been most likely scattered around the whole foyer
or church. Another thing was that special needs was planning on having
a Christmas banquet that morning but got canceled around 7:30 that
morning because of the weather, they didn’t have ways to pick up the
special needs. Tristin had already started preparing the food for the
banquet when she heard it got canceled. But what’s so amazing is that
the gunman was right by where the banquet would’ve been and they
wouldn’t have been able to evacuate them very fast because they
would’ve all needed help.
thing that makes it so obvious that God was protecting our group is
that the shootings in Arvada, Colorado happened around 1 am that
morning. 247 was dry-docked (stuck at the church overnight due to
weather) and so we were all up at 1 am and I remember looking at my
clock about to go to bed at that time and over half of us first years
were just sitting in the foyer of the WPC talking, only about 100-200
ft away from the YWAM offices in the building. So if the gunman decided
to hit New Life that night instead of Arvada, 247 students would’ve
been the first and most likely only people he would’ve seen. That
shakes me up and makes me realize that even when I don’t notice God is
protecting me.
don’t know personally the families who’ve suffered from this, but I do
know that because I’m a member of this church they are my family and so
I’m mourning. I’m also so humbled and privileged to be a part of a
church that Satan is so threatened by that he keeps attacking it. That
actually confirms in me that I’m in the right place. Another thing that
I keep visualizing is me walking into the church that morning being
completely clueless of what was going to happen that day. But I
visualize God up on his throne with his eyes on me, watching every step
I took into that church and knowing that hours later a gunman was going
to walk through the same doors to accomplish a scheme of the devils.
Yet I know that God was watching not surprised or excited or shaken at
all, I picture him with peace still on his face. He is in control.
God,
I want you to know I love you. I’m filled with so much thankfulness.
Thank you. I see your hand so heavily on this situation and I praise
you for your faithfulness to your people and your church. You are
amazing, merciful and full of grace. I praise and love you. Thank you
for keeping my family safe and all of 247. I thank you that JD and
Grider weren’t there, I know that was of you. I thank you for the
timing. I praise and trust in you. I surrender New Life into your hands
and I’m so glad to be a part of it. Give Brady wisdom Father. Surround
him with sound counsel and fill him with your peace, joy and energy.
Remind him that our church supports him. Again I thank you for your
mercy. I love you tons.
~Jessie Smith
