Sometimes I feel like older siblings get all the good stuff. They never have to wear hand me down clothes, they get the first car, the first cell phone, the first pick of rooms when moving time comes around. For their entire lives, they have first dibs on everything, and we babies have to sit back and take their leftovers. On the other hand, the first born is also the parents’ first shot to raise that perfect child. There’s a lot of pressure in that area, and that first screwup can be brutal. Then when the younger siblings come around, the oldest now has to set the example and become almost like a third parent. I have to be kind of honest, I tend to like being the baby in the family.
Parke is my older brother and he’s four years ahead of me. If Hollywood was writing our story, they couldn’t dream up a pair of brothers that are as different as the two of us. Parke studied business, I studied design. Parke was a basketball and golf star, I tended to play the less finesse sports. Parke enjoys a nice quiet evening in, I’ll take live music any night of the week. Parke went to get his MBA, I took off for the mission field. Parke works a 9-5 and wears suits that cost more than my car, and I sleep on his couch. It may sound like I’m bashing myself, but I just wanted to contrast the very successful business man to the idealistic vagabond dreamer and how we both came from the same mold. Despite our differences, Parke and I have been slowly creepy towards the middle. My business strategy mind is starting to kick in, and he’s initiating huge party nights for the family.
Before 2006, I knew very little about my brother other than the fact that I thought he was awesome. I didn’t even know what he did or who he hung out with or if he ever even dated, but all I knew was that he was still my big brother. We rarely talked, barely knew each other, but still got together for holidays (most of the time). In 2007, our relationship began to take a drastic turn. He asked me to be the best man in his wedding, and I couldn’t have been more shocked. I knew he was a well liked guy, and I thought I’d play a role, but the last thing that I expected was to be the guy right beside him on his wedding day. I don’t think he’ll ever know how much that meant to me. But that day was a huge turning point for us as brothers.
For over the past decade, my brother and I have had the differences that I’ve already mentioned, but it went much deeper. We weren’t even standing for the same things, and Christianity can drive a huge wedge into that. I always knew he supported me, but we always had our differences of where we saw my future heading. He made some very valid points and made me question a ton about what I was running from and what were my key motives in taking off for a year. Part of me was hiding because I didn’t know what to do next, but I just wanted to get away. Doing the World Race was one of my best life decisions, but I’d be lying if I said my motives were totally pure.
Throughout that year, I didn’t expect Parke to follow much of the journey, but I was shocked to hear him ask me about some of the blogs I had been writing and even quote a couple. Through that, I’ve been able to share why I’m choosing to keep on this path, and he’s been able to see a lot of the work I’ve been doing isn’t just talking people into salvation. My relationship with him does make me question why I’m doing what I’m doing, and I know it’ll keep me on my toes. I just love having the open floor to talk about it.
Now, Parke is married to someone that I just adore and refer to as my sister (which can sound kind of weird to say that I’m going to my brother and sister’s house, I know we’re from Alabama, but come on…), and they have the most beautiful little girl. While our differences are still there, and more than likely always will be, I just love having a relationship with my brother. Who knows, we’ve overcome this many differences in the last decade, anything could happen in the next ten years. Let’s just hope I won’t still be on his couch…
