Again, a huge part of my ministry over the last week has been coming in alongside the World Race squad that is here. I’ve loved just sitting and getting to hear their stories of transformation and how God has continued to lead them on this incredible journey. My whole heart has been to introduce them to this culture, but also to remind them ministry is relational. The people that have joined me on a few random outings have asked what our plan was. I just laugh as I tell them, “We’ll find out when we get there.”
I was born in Hot-lanta, Georgia. My family lived in ATL for a while before migrating north to the suburbs after I turned six. I am the youngest of four siblings and therefore, quite independent. I was raised as aChreaster (one who goes to church on Christmas and Easter) with no idea as to what a strong faith in God really meant.
After my parents got divorced when I was 9, my skewed perception of faith was distorted even further. Through much inevitable heartache, my young heart learned to endure.
Flashing forward to high school, to many I had a seemingly perfect experience. I played three sports, had a ton of friends, had a serious boyfriend, won awards by day, and partied hard by night. I was living the high school dream, right? Towards the end of my senior year, I found myself lost and ready to escape.
Post-graduation, along-time friend asked me to join her at camp in Rutledge, GA for a week at the end the summer. Wanting to please her, I opted to go. One week before, I found myself dreading the experience. I had no bible, no ability to pray out loud, and the feeling that I would be put to shame.
Boy, was I wrong. I was loved in a way I had never experienced before. After the life-altering week, I immediately got plugged in to her church and gained some real Christian fellowship. That’s all I needed… or so I thought.
Leaving for Ole Miss was the perfect escape from the double-life I had created at home. I could start over. Like in high school, I got as involved as I could. I joined a sorority but after a few years, realized it wasn’t for me. I guess you could say I never really “fit in”, even though I threw on a rather convincing facade.
I always appeared to have life under control. Only my closest friends could see past the lie. Once I started working a ton, I couldn’t hide my struggles from the eyes of my peers. It started to take its toll on me and I realized after my sophomore slump that the game was over- people were starting to notice.
Escaping again, I flew off to Spai
n for a semester in January of my junior year. Gratefully, I shed my false sense of entitlement that was acquired through college. I finally had the chance to break away from my life at home and be the individual I’d always dreamed I could be. Come June I had gained far more than expected: a massive bite from the travel bug, Spanish fluency, soul mates from around the world, a steadfast identity, and a freedom that God anticipated to test upon my return.
That summer in 2008, I worked as the high school youth intern for my church in Roswell. If someone had told me I would be in that position in high school I would have laughed out loud. God had been renewing my heart each year, slowly and steadily. Diving in head first, I shamefully kept my past under wraps. My skepticism towards God’s love was still clouding the freedom I thought I’d already acquired. I still punished myself for the events of my past.
Months later, I finally started to see how God was using my “dirty water” to replenish the thirsty hearts of so many broken youth. To my surprise, I was able to comfort them by sharing stories from my past. The more I related to them, the more I realized how my testimony was used to glorify God. My years of pent-up unworthiness, shame, fears, pride, deceit, and brokenness were finally ready to be revealed and that’s when it hit me!
It was time to surrender my secrets- to take up my cross and follow Jesus. Alas! True FREEDOM.
Last year, someone told me that “everything happens for a good reason”. Sure, it doesn’t sound too far from the age-old saying– but really, it is. The cognizance of that truth helped me channel the lessons learned in my life towards encouraging others… My life since that summer has surely been difficult and one of healing, yet, manageable through my strength in Christ.
I live to love, and love is hard work. Period! When I read about the WR, I just knew it was for me. I pray the Lord uses my heart of compassion to love all who I encounter and that He may propel my hands and feet to serve hundreds around the globe.
The fact that our generation continues to settle for a life of complacency makes my blood boil. I guess you could say that is one of the many reasons that the World Race appealed to me. We have taken the initiative to counteract our culture, rise up against the “you are wasting a year of your life” ideology, and awaken from a deep sleep of false contentment.
What we seek is Truth.
