Oh the holiday season. I completely missed it last year, and I have to admit, it wasn’t that bad out of the country. I didn’t have door buster sales, or Black Friday, or Santa in the mall, and I had no clue what the hot item was. As much as I loved being away from all of that, part of me has a healthy appreciation for people that would go through all that craziness to get the perfect gift for someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I was over 8,000 feet above sea level in the mountains when this past weekend rolled around, but it works for some people.
So, after all of the craziness this weekend, I stopped by one of the biggest malls in Dallas to visit one of my closest friends that works at Starbucks to see the aftermath of the weekend. I could tell it wasn’t his favorite place to be that weekend, but thankfully, he made it out. On my way to see him, I ran across Charles. He was ringing one of those bells for the Salvation Army, and I thought, what an iconic Christmas symbol in the States.
As I got closer, I realized Charles was saying something about donating to everyone that passed. My initial reaction was to feign interest in the store I was passing like the guy in front of me did, but his comment caught me off guard. He said to someone, “You’re shopping here, so I know you have the money to give to the needy.” Now I’m ready to call out selfishness as much as the next guy, but this is NOT the way to do it. I had to stop and just find out this guy’s story.
“Do people ever actually donate with a tactic like that?” I think he was surprised someone talked back. He told me how people would get frustrated or say something back, but many people would give something. I asked him how much he had put in today and his confidence was quickly shaken. Then the defensiveness took over and he gave me all the excuses as to why he couldn’t give, quickly followed by how the little bit of money he had couldn’t help anyone anyway. I told him I wasn’t there to argue with or judge him, but that guilting anyone into giving would rarely bless anyone long term.
As I walked away, I thought about his reasoning; how the little bit of money he had couldn’t do anything anyway. When did that start mattering? My $20 a month can’t save the education system in the Philippines, but it can send one little girl to a decent school until the others can get fixed. When did we start measuring our gifts against the world’s problems? I’m not just talking financially either, but you’re all smart people and can make the connection to other areas.
We see it in the Gospel at the end of Mark 12 when Jesus points out the tithes at a church gathering. After all the high rollers put in, one widow gives two small coins and Jesus calls her out and praises her. It wasn’t because she put the church over the top with her giving, but it was because she gave all she had. Giving was her top priority and she was willing to risk her life on it. We were never asked to measure the “effectiveness” of our giving, we were just asked to give.
I almost forgot something as I walked away and I turned around to shove a few bills in the pot. Charles told me that guilt was always a strong motivator and gave me a wink. I just smiled when I told him, “Yeah, but joy is a little stronger. Try that one.”
As we head into this holiday season, we will be bombarded with pictures and stories from all over that will tug at our hearts to give. Whether we like it or not, often the biggest motivators there is guilt (as we sip on our hot cocoa). I fall right into that trap. However, I’m not telling you to not give, I’m just asking for us all to reevaluate the motive behind it. Guilt may get the cash up front, but it will never win the heart behind the scenes. Be joyful about your giving, no matter how much (or little) it is. But be careful, because it can be contagious.
