Today has been an incredible day in my life and tons of doors are beginning to open up for our ministry out here. Jodi Greenlee is a former World racer as well and has come to join up with me for the next two weeks out here in the local city jail. This morning we spent meeting with the DSWD and the Public Attorney to see what all we can do to change the lives of these minors an integrate them back into society as productive members. It’s such a blessing to see her heart for these boys. The next several days will be stories that come out of our time with them, but for today, I’ll copy in Jodi’s story. More exciting news to come…
April 28th
En route to Thailand
The tears flowing down my cheeks rival the speed of the airplane as we take off. I am sad. Really sad to leave the Philippines. I left my heart there in the hands of 8 minors at the city jail.
I am trying not to make a scene with my emotions as the rest of the squad is enjoying each other’s company and anticipating the arrival in Thailand. From my seat, I can hear the squad leader talking to one of the leaders about when we are leaving Thailand to go to our next country. It is in 3 days. 3 days. I became very angry. That is 3 more days I could have spent with those young men. At this point, my sadness turns to anger. I feel cheated and robbed of a great month of ministry. This has been, by far, the best month of ministry I have had maybe in my life. It has also been the shortest. So to hear that we left before we even needed to was almost a slap in the face.
I journaled about it, allowing the pages to field my rants. And as I did, I realized something. I realized that we were only there for a little over two weeks. Two weeks is really no time at all. It is all the time you need to give your boss notice when you quit. The time you get for a vacation. Really, with the 52 weeks allotted in a year, it isn’t a lot of time. And in that time, God did something amazing. Really amazing.
I am not sure how words can capture the emotion of it. Or the redemption of it. Theodore Roosevelt in describing the Rocky Mountains, said the view “bankrupts the English language.” I’ve seen the Rockies, and although they are magnificent, they pale in comparison to what unfolded before my eyes in two weeks.
I am sitting in a hotel room overlooking Bangkok. We have air conditioning (which is going full blast, I might add) and a shower and a bed and a pool, not your typical world race days. But I would give it all up to be back with those boys. In a heart beat. The pain in the pit of my stomach still lingers and one nostalgic thought can lead me to tears. Those boys are precious to me. But they are even more precious to their heavenly Father. Here is why.
In two weeks, I saw these boys come to life. I saw them gain confidence in the English language. And with each foreign word they spoke, I saw them gain confidence in themselves. I saw them learn to be loved. And I saw them learn to love. I watched as the scales of the only story line they have ever known; hurt, rejection, survival, came cascading off of their bodies like a waterfall. I watched them walk into a new story for themselves; one of hope and value and worth.
Sunday was our last day with them. We had a graduation of sorts. But nothing could have prepared me for the emotion that weighed so heavily on that day. I walked into the prison that day sad that it was our last day, sad to let them go. In fact, I spent most of the morning crying. But God reassured me that He would take care of them. Even better than I could. The agreement with that truth gave me the strength to tell those young men the very same thing. And to tell them that they would be okay. And more than okay, because God is working in their lives.
These young men cried. And not a manly, trying to cover up the fact that you are crying, type of crying. It was vulnerability like I have never seen it. It was almost a release of years, even a childhood of fears and feelings that they couldn’t really understand. The only explanation was love. We loved them like they had never been loved. It wasn’t hard. We simply showed up and enjoyed them. But God used us to show those young men the kind of love they were meant for. The kind of love that they always yearned for but didn’t know how to even seek it out. The kind of love that makes you whole and complete. That is the kind of love God showed them. And just in two weeks. It takes months for relationships to form. And more, for a love so pure and trustworthy to be sustained. But God showed up in these boys lives in a way that they, nor I saw coming.
I am still sad to be away from them. Still sad to not be able to witness all that God will continue to do in their lives. Still sad to not be able to let God take care of them through me. They called me their mother. And I think I have a new understanding of what it must be like to love someone so much but have to trust God with them. And I do. The God that can do that type of redemption in front of my very eyes in two weeks can do so much more in my absence. I am excited to go back and see how these boys have walked boldly in this new life and love. I know it will be a sight to behold!
