Yesterday was one
of the most physically thrilling days I’ve had so far on the race. I’m an adventurer within and crave the
adrenaline rush that extreme sports and outdoor activities bring, so a trip for
white water rafting was definitely in order. While the rapids weren’t quite what we see in Northern
Tennessee, just the feeling of being back in a boat was incredible. Even in the face of an unbelievable
adrenaline rush, I would still have to say that wasn’t the best part of the
day.
Matt and I were
together in a two-man boat, and as we were coming down the river, I couldn’t
help but think back to our first night of training camp. Before even talking to each other, we
were all led into the woods and had a chance to contemplate of three very heavy
questions. The third and final one
was what came back to me.
“Are you willing to trade
your adventure for God’s?”
Well that’s an
easy answer. God’s plan is so much
better and more creative than mine.
But wait, what if I don’t have any fun? What if there’s no real adventure? What if I’m stuck in a place with no way out? What if I’m not allowed to do what I’m
wired to do? I’m an adventurer,
and live for this stuff, what if He takes that all away?
I’d be a liar if
I told you I haven’t struggled with some of these questions. It’s not that I think I have a better plan;
it’s honestly that sometimes I doubt that God remembers who I am. I have this picture of what it looks
like to be a Christian and a missionary and the one word that often comes to
mind is…lame.
I mean really,
who gives up everything to do this stuff? Does God really know who I am and care
enough about me to know how I’m wired?
In the wake of
one of the greatest adrenaline rushes of the race so far, I was rocked upon
returning home. No adrenaline rush
can even compare to what I was about to experience. One word: intimacy. Outside of marriage how many of us
truly know what this word means?
Even if we include marriage, have many of us truly experience this?
We prayed a
prayer of intimacy as a squad last night and God answered. I’ve never realized how selfish I
really am. Sure, I’ll pray, but in
the back of my mind, what thoughts dwell there? I’ll go serve, but secretly is there anything I want out of
it? I walked outside to lie on the
driveway for a while and realized how much I was missing. I may be on the mission field, but I
haven’t even tapped into all the God has to offer.
Too often
satisfaction overrules hunger and I’m left standing with questions and doubts
because I forget about the infinite power and love that comes from the God I
serve; the very same God that longs to hear me call Him “ABBA Father,
Dad”. I think too often we wait
until we have to cry out for Him, that we never hear His cry for us. We never see Him personifying the
father in the story of the “Prodigal Son” as He runs at the first glimpse of
His boy on that hill. I mean
really, how often do I just go to Him without a question, or a doubt, or a
fear, or a problem?
What would happen if I went
to God with nothing on my agenda but Him?
I don’t know a
lot about this word intimacy yet, but it’s an adventure that no adrenaline rush
can even begin to tap into…
