I can’t believe
another month is already coming to a close on our trek around the world. I feel like each country I go to I fall
deeper in love with it, but I think I’m just beginning to see what it looks
like to fall deeper in love with Jesus and to have a heart for his people. Malaysia will be a difficult country to
leave but who knows what God will have in store…
So this past week
we went out to the jungle to visit a group of people known as the “Orang Alsi”. This just means that they are the
original people of the land and they make up a good chunk of the Malay
population and are all over the country.
This particular group considers themselves to be “free thinkers” and
have not been heavily swayed by Muslim or Christian influences. The good part of this is that they can
still be open to our messages, but the tough part is breaking through years of
stubborn pride and a blatant disregard for any message we have. Good thing God never promised this
would be easy…
During our few
days out there I faced something that I very rarely ever have to deal
with. I got sick. Fortunately it wasn’t malaria or
anything crazy like that, but it still took a heavy toll on my body. I found myself running around with the
children one second and literally past out in the back of the room just a brief
moment later. I despise being sick
and the weakness it brings.
So my team
started to pray for healing over me and I genuinely believed it would come
because I was doing God’s work, and the last thing He needs is a sick missionary…Right?
How often do I forget that
when I am weak, He is strong?
The healing
wouldn’t come, so I resigned myself to resting and lying on the bed until I was
back to feeling better. The heat
was nearly unbearable at times in the jungle and the last place I needed to be
while I was sick was outside. It’s
funny how God seems to contradict everything that makes sense sometimes. As I was lying in bed one night trying
to “feel better” God asked me, “Do you
really believe my strength is more than enough?” My immediate answer was, of course, I just need it to heal
me. I wasn’t expecting what
followed. God told me to trust
Him, go out tomorrow no matter how I felt and truly rely on Him.
I know my mom is
cringing at this point because her “sick baby” was out in bad conditions in the
middle of nowhere. I told my team
and they didn’t really put up a fight, which is rare when it comes to sickness,
but we pushed on. It was crazy
what happened that day. On the way
to our village for the day, I was told I would be delivering a message for the
village that night. Looks like I
wouldn’t be able to hide behind anything even in the midst of sickness.
As the day went
on, I realized God continually brought me strength when I needed it. A sudden spurt of energy here to kill
some down time, then to the back for resting (we even had a spur of the moment
worship service that the whole village just watched as we worshipped). I’m actually still sick even as I write
this, but when I’ve needed strength it has come. Thirty minutes before I was supposed to speak I had no
voice, a horrible cough, and was just completely dizzy. When the time came, I stood up and
delivered one of my strongest teachings on the race and then crashed shortly
after. It was incredible to hear
my team praying over a couple of the girls that came as the sickness crept back
over me.
I know God is
still teaching me through this sickness, but one thing I’m learning is that the
Christian life isn’t one of earthly prosperity. I hear tons of teaching on God not being a God of sickness
or despair, but this is in complete contradiction to the Gospel, the first
church, and really everything the Bible says. It makes me think that while so many Christians try to “What
Would Jesus Do” their way through life, they never allow themselves live a life
anything like His.
We are promised strength, not health…
We are promised power, not invincibility…
We are promised a treasure, but it’s not always here…
We are promised life, but this always begins with death. To this world, to ourselves, and to our desires.
