I really don’t do much.I lack direction and vision lately.
And it isn’t that I don’t have an idea what is next or haven’t been applying places, it’s that I am in the waiting period.
“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
He is saying that everything will be alright. I don’t need to worry or fret. He has got the next step. His will and glorification will happen without me doing anything.
But I am really not good at this.
I have come home to a place where my former identity of what I did, isn’t the same.
So I spend more time freaking out that I am not doing anything, then resting with God in the time I was given.
Needless to say it has been a little bit harder lately.
It’s hard to do anything remotely serious, like going to church or spending time with the Lord. I have noticed my responses and attitudes aren’t Christ-like lately. I am learning that I need to push myself even more when no one is around. I am getting drained by doing nothing because I am not trusting in the Lord like I should. I am not resting in the one who gives the ultimate rest.
There needs to be a change. A recheck on my vision and direction.
There were times when all Paul had was Jesus and Him.
I am sure some of those times were the sweetest.
It is truly only about Jesus and I. No one else.
I am going to trust, seek, rest, know.
It is weird thinking back on the race. It feels more like a dream these days.
It is just a weird transition from seeing my World Race family to seeing no one.
From living so close with some of my best friends to having really no one.
Does Amanda, Chris, David, Lisa, Kerry and Courtney really exist?
Did I really get all these earrings from other countries or Target?
Why do I have a backpack, tent and sleeping mat?
Where am I?
Haha
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I do have some direction on what is next. Some things are in the works but I won’t reveal until I know for sure! Hopefully soon. For now my inheritance is Clovis!
