“I’ve been searching for words for awhile now for this
blog. And really the best way to describe my emotions right now is
bittersweet. You know what it means to be bittersweet, to feel sad or
melancholy but underneath that is a glimmer of excitement or happiness.
That’s me.â€�
This is from one of my blogs posted on 12/21/2008, a few
weeks before I left for the World Race.
I started reading back because, once again, change is coming to my
life. For me, that may not be saying a
lot. After all, the last three years of
my life have been nothing but transition after transition. But this transition feels more similar to
that huge step I took 3 years, that took me on this grand adventure and less
familiar to every other transition that’s taken place since then.
You see, at the end of January I’m going to be packing up my
stuff and moving back to North Carolina.
Specifically to Greensboro, where God has graciously provided a place to
live with a great friend and a job to help make ends meet. I have some leads on what God has for me
there but I don’t feel released to truly pursue any of them, or even to look
for another job until I actually get up there.
I’m excited to bring what has been given to me, to my home
in North Carolina. To truly return home
as Tim the man and not Timmy the son, and to return in faith and hope that God
is moving in great ways. But returning
in faith is difficult. I can’t see that
God will take care of all my needs. I can’t
see that God is going to move through me.
But that is the internal struggle that makes faith worthwhile and
valuable.
And I’m going to miss my family in Georgia. I’m thankful that for the first 19 years of
my life, loneliness was a common feeling for me, but 3 years ago I moved and
haven’t stopped and God has made sure that I haven’t been lonely since. I
have brothers and sisters and moms and dads here, that will always make
wherever they are home to me.
So this next season may be hard and it may not look like
what I expect, but I know what God has promised me. He has promised me that it will be filled
with wonder and adventure, humility and brokenness. Because that’s the same promise He made me 3
years ago, and a wise man once told me that God’s last word is His current one
until He speaks again.
