Little boys grow up watching movies and
reading books about men who live epic lives. The stories of these
men articulate the desires in all little boys hearts for adventure,
battle and conquest. And as most of you know, little boys grow into
men. And either those desires die, or those godly desires are
corrupted into recklessness, immaturity and laziness.
I’m sorry, there’s a third option
there.
Or God redeems those desires and takes
you on a pilgrimage. The last two years for me have been exactly
that. I’ve had a grand adventure and seen countries and lands I
never thought possible. I’ve climbed mountains and waterfalls,
killed my own dinner, swam through a river cave and had a machete
pulled on me.
Then my adventure turned into a quest
when I accepted responsibility for the things I saw in these places.
Thirteen year old girls shouldn’t have to service 8 men in a day just
to eat, little boys shouldn’t have to go begging with their baby
sister in the streets. A syringe shouldn’t be a mans only solice.
Women shouldn’t have to walk 5 miles one way just to get arguably
clean water for the day.
And those were just the people I met
along the way.
The people who traveled along side me
had their own internal battles, as did I. Would I be a man of
reproof and honor so that my brothers and sisters would have a safe
place to land? Would I be a safe place in an unsafe world? Would I
love my brothers and sisters through their mess even when I wasn’t
completely sure they would love me through mine?
And then I came home and rested…and
rested…and rested.
Now I am living in Gainesville and
working for AIM. I live in a phenominal and loving community, and
have a very rewarding job. But all this rest is making me restless.
Regardless that I am still playing a role in mobilizing a generation
to bring kingdom to the world, I’m ready for the next challenge. I
want another adventure with battles and difficulty.
But for now, God says no.
But if I’m not an adventurer, or a
warrior or a peacemaker then who am I?
I am all of those things, and none of
those things. I am a Son of God, a royal prince in His court, an
adopted heir to the throne. That is why I take responsibility for
the injustice in front of me, and the same reason why I can sit in
peace when there is no battle to fight. But what does that look
like? Yeah, I pray for my squad still out on the field, and I pray
for things that God puts on my heart, but honestly my time with Him
looks a lot like sitting in my hammock in awkward silence.
And Dad couldn’t be prouder.
Sometimes He talks over me my identity
and how much He loves me and how proud of me He is. I like those
times. But a lot of times its quiet. But I sit there because I know
that God is sitting there too, and He won’t get up until I get up.
So now I live in this divine tension.
Where I am content with being a son and nothing else, but my desire
is for more. More authority, more influence, more light, more
love…
And I believe that my Dad wants all
those things for me…and for the world. But a man who knows himself
as a warrior and nothing else, is all he will ever know of himself.
But a man who knows himself as a Son to the God of All Things will
know himself as…all things.
