At dinner when my teammates said that they saw an orphanage for handicapped children, and that they wanted to help there instead of teach during one of our ministry days; I’ll admit I didn’t think too much of it. I thought it could be fun, that orphan care would fill my heart with more joy than anything else, and that meant one less day of lesson plans. But I had no clue what I was getting myself into.
When we arrived at the gates of the orphanage for the first time, I didn’t expect the flush of fear or sense of being uncomfortable that had overcome me. But meeting the kids for the first time took all of that away. The pure joy that radiated from each of them, the abundance of love they had for everyone around them; it humbled me. The things I saw, the children I met; it broke my heart. As we walked away from the Physical Therapy room to head home, there was not a dry eye amongst us. Not a single word was spoken during the drive home. And I don’t think I’ve ever prayed as hard as I did that day. I was humbled. My “high horse” rode off without me.
Who am I to be so blessed? Who am I to deserve any of the things He has so graciously given me? He’s given me so much, yet I’ve given him so little.
I fuss over sacrificing secular music, toxic friendships, or little acts of obedience; yet I’m living the life that most people only dream of. I worry about such worldly things; boys who don’t text back, who’s wearing what, and that my abs don’t look as good as they used to. I stress over which college town is better, or friends that don’t care. Yet, I never stop and smell the roses.
I have a family that loves me and supports me. We don’t always see eye-to-eye, but they push me to do whatever my heart desires. No, it’s not perfect. Yes, we’re missing some pieces. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have food on the table. I always know where my next meal is coming from, and when I’ll have it. I live an incredible Life. A life filled with adventure, exotic places, and loving people. I get to follow Jesus around the World and love on His people; it doesn’t get any better than that. I have an incredible team and host family that make being away from home so much easier because they make here my home. I live in one of the most beautiful countries on earth. I am healthy. I have an opportunity to pursue education just about anywhere I would like. I wake up every morning and can walk on two legs, and have the free-will to do just about anything. I have incredible friends who love me, and push me even from 7,000 miles away. And most of all, I have a God that grants me with more gifts and love every single day. Even when I don’t ask for it or I’m undeserving.
It took me 21 years, but I’ve finally realized just how good I have it. It took my heart being broken and humbled; but I’m finally realizing what I’ve taken for granted all this time. It took an experience like this to ground me and ask myself “Who am I to be so blessed?”
Next time you question God, or wonder why were called to fast and sacrifice for our creator; remember how truly blessed you are. He woke you up this morning, He blessed you with a family, He blessed you with the life you live. No, it may not be perfect, or exactly what you wanted, but you have it. And it’s a lot better than it could be. It’s time we stop counting all the ways the life is going “wrong” and count the ways that it’s going right.
