The 10 days I spent at training camp I felt myself become closer to me, my squad, and most importantly the Lord. Training Camp pushes you beyond your limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. With past emotions resurfacing to having the amazing feeling of complete certainty of freedom and what that means to me as a woman of God.
We are made for so much more and The Lord has called us to be disciples. We have the power to change the world. As I sat in my chair among 250 other world racers, I was reminded Jesus had only 12. 12 disciples following him. His disciples were not perfect, they were ordinary men who had their weaknesses and who have sinned just like you and I, but Jesus still loved them and believed in them. If you were to ask me a year ago what I would be doing in my life I never would have thought I would be going out into the world as a disciple for the Kingdom, but The Lord has this amazing thing called Grace. Grace has saved me from my shame and my guilt. I am free from the bondage of my past actions. All the bad decision, all the pain and hurt I have experienced towards myself and others has literally has been washed away because our God is a loving and forgiving God who has chosen me to go out into this world that he created to proclaim his glory and share his love to those who have no love in their life. The world race is not only about me though, it is about giving away what the Lord has given me.
At training camp I saw how cool the Lord is. He made us and loves us for who we are. We danced (a lot) to Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and other songs you hear on the radio. We meditated with silence on the Lord. We talked about different types of craft beers and wine. We camped out, hiked two miles with our packs on, and ate A LOT of candy on our free night in town. The beautiful thing is, the Lord wants us to enjoy these types of things and he wants to enjoy them with us.
Abba I belong to you
My heart fell in love with finding intimacy with the Lord. I learned the Lord blesses us with imagination and he wants us to use that to be drawn into him. If getting closer means sitting on your porch having a conversation about your day, or closing your eyes and picturing you and Jesus on a beach swinging in hammocks then by all means do it. Be prepared for the Holy Spirit and be available for what the Lord has for you. Ask him questions and listen. The Holy Spirit is always walking besides you, in order to feel his presence you must be engaged in the Holy Spirit and walk together.
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Proverbs 16:24
The fear I had walking into Training Camp was heavy on my heart. I came in with the fear of leaving for my trip, being away for so long, and the danger of being in foreign countries. I was also afraid of my emotions unraveling, and getting closer to the Lord. It did not go away quickly, I had to peel back many layers in order to find the strength to overcome all the fears I had. In order to let the Lord in I had to learn to accept my self, ultimately love myself, and believe I have more worth than any shame or guilt I have experienced. I was like a joyful kid running in and out of the shore afraid to go deeper into the water. The Lord wants me to give him all my fears in order for me to trust him completely with my heart and my soul. I know The Lord has me, he will lead me deeper into the shores. He will take care of me throughout this journey. His love is perfect, and perfect love casts out all fears. I’m so ready to go deeper, unraveling more and becoming so transparent for the Lord. Radical transparency with the Lord is a way for me to reveal my true inner self to the Lord and to myself. For me that’s being very vulnerable something I struggle with. I believe this will strengthen my relationship with him, my perspective on myself and who I am as a person, and how I associate with others.
love&blessings
-tay
