Lately I have been reading through the book of Acts and find myself
mentally returning to chapter 14 where Peter was freed from prison. It has
been of great interest to my mind that in the middle of being set free from his place of bondage Peter did not recognize what was happening as being in reality. Once
the angel gets him out and down the street he comes to and knows he has
been delivered. I’m not going to comment further on that right now
except to say I find that really interesting.
The other part that I have been going back to is that the church was
offering constant prayer for him. In fact, in the middle of the night
after he has been set free, Peter arrives at the gate of Mary’s home where many have gathered to pray for him.
Rhoda comes to answer the gate, hears his voice and gets so excited she
runs back in to tell the others before letting him in. Their response
was one of disbelief although they had just been in the middle of
praying for something like this to happen. They were willing to believe it was his angel over expecting to actually see Peter.
offering constant prayer for him. In fact, in the middle of the night
after he has been set free, Peter arrives at the gate of Mary’s home where many have gathered to pray for him.
Rhoda comes to answer the gate, hears his voice and gets so excited she
runs back in to tell the others before letting him in. Their response
was one of disbelief although they had just been in the middle of
praying for something like this to happen. They were willing to believe it was his angel over expecting to actually see Peter.
Our minds go to great lengths to explain away the “impossible” it seems. That is the place I find my own self so often, trying to explain away the impossible that I just saw become reality.
I was there at Evansbord’s tent the first day (see previous blog) . I was back there again toward the end of the week as people told me he had been crawling, something he had never done. I was there again early this week and while he is still frail, there is a marked difference. I have seen a change with my own eyes, but is it because of my disappointment that he is not up and running like a normal 15 year old boy that I try to explain it away? That God does not work the way I would? Because it pushes past my comfort zone? Probably.
James 1:6 says, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”
He is talking about asking for wisdom but doesn’t it apply to all things? What does it say if you really do have faith in the moment and you see God do amazing things, but then later the doubt comes knocking? Is it really even doubt or just my mind trying to process through things? Am I analyzing it all too much… probably I tend to do that.
Seems I’ve been fighting a lot of disbelief this week. Doubt that I have seen the things I have seen around the world, not just in Haiti. Questioning why God does things the way He does, even though I know I will never understand. Personally fighting the doubt that creeps in and says it doesn’t matter that my heart is in Ukraine because it requires money I don’t have and can’t see.
By no means is this all-encompassing of my week. There have been a lot of GREAT things happening, but if I am honest and I try to be, there is just this undercurrent that disturbs me. I don’t like it hanging out , threatening to pull me under.
On second thought maybe I will just start learning to walk on water instead. Maybe that’s the point.
