The World Race tries to prepare you for the transition back into the States, but I don't think there is anything that can truly prepare you for all the change that you experience stepping off that plane back into America.
In two days I went from one side of the world to another. I went from living minimally and constantly surrounded by a community of young people seeking The Lord to walking away all alone and realizing that I have finally arrived on American soil. Full of materialistic mindsets and a "me first" attitude. I am fearful of getting sucked back in and I am shaky as I walk away from my squad. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced. I knew it was time to say goodbye and move forward in my life, but it felt so unnatural and so uncomfortable. I never thought that being surrounded by 56 smelly, crazy people would become norma and home to mel. I never knew adapting to rough living conditions or living by each moment knowing plans could change in an instant would become normal. I instantly felt a hole in my heart knowing I may never see some of these people again…people that have truly become family. Some of which I spent a whole 11 months with…day in and day out. People that KNOW me and have called me to be a greater person.
I sat in a beautiful hotel room all alone and reminisced over the past year. I took my first shower in days and almost cried when I laid in a big fluffy bed with pillows in a room that is air conditioned! Some of these luxuries I haven't known for a year. I read notes from my teammates and squad mates and realized that even though my heart is so so sad saying goodbye…there is hope because the same God that got us through the month in the Philippines and protected us as we traveled all over the world is the very same God that is with me right now in this moment. He is the same God that has called me back to Lubbock, TX and has already prepared the way as I go home.
I am, as my sweet teammate Sage would say, feeling ALL of the emotions. I am anxious, sad, excited, joyful, absolutely exhausted yet restless. I am all over the place right now. But praise The Lord we serve a God who is constant. Today I cling to Him…my strength, my support, my refuge…as I walk away from the life that has become normal into a new bright and hopeful future awaiting me.
I can sit here waiting to board the plane to travel my last travel day of the race. I can embrace all that He has for me in this next season as I look back and am filled with joy and hope from all that He did this year. I met amazing people, saw incredible things and traveled a beautiful world.
I know this wont be easy at times…but He is always in control right?!
Three short flights till I walk (maybe run) into the arms of my family I left behind to seek His Kingdom work eleven months ago. Having no idea where He would call me next and never expected it to be right back to the place where I came from.
This is an exciting moment.
Is He calling you to step into something new? Maybe he is calling you to let the door close on an area of your life and walk towards something new and bright. It may be scary because it is new and uncomfortable. But He will make the way if we surrender OUR will to follow HIS! I encourage you to take that step of faith and step onto the plane of wherever He has called you and see what He has in store for this new season! As they told us before we went on this race…leave all expectations behind. He has so much more than we could ever imagine…so today I choose His plan.
See you tonight Lubbock, Texas. Get ready…the girl you said goodbye to is not the same one returning home :).
