Coming on the race I had heard the horror stories of getting sick, the bad run-ins with squatty potties or the occasional spider bite that swells twice the size of your arm.
Over the past 9 months I have had my share of the stomach issues and trips running to the bathroom because I ate something that my body wasn't used to. I've had the bug bites and have legs that are now covered with pretty little reminders of my month in Nicaragua.
What I have realized over the past year is that even in hard living conditions and rough physical situations…God is sovereign and can teach us things in the midst of trial and pain.
It all started last week.
Uganda is beautiful, full of life and joy and so many fun moments I will never forget.
I woke one morning and as I went to wash my face, I felt as though I had been punched in my jaw…I jokingly asked which one of my teammates hit me in my sleep. Little did I know it was the start to a very heavy spiritual attack of my physical body.
The next day my right cheek was swollen. It hurt. I pushed through the pain and went about my day but it just continued to get worse.
Headache, fever, loss of appetite, and feeling all clammy. I hate not feeling 100%. I can't hide it. I decided to go to bed early but tossed and turned all night dealing with this random and horrible pain in my cheek. I was miserable.
The next day, my teammate and I traveled six hours to see a squad mate that was leaving the race to get better medical attention after being in severe pain and in the hospital all month (we miss you and love you Meg!!).
Public transportation in Africa is fun as it is…but the pain continued to get worse. I was tired of taking pain meds and Advil and decided it was time to see a doctor.
The doctor asked a few questions, felt my jaw and neck and looked in my ears and throat with a head lamp. He told me it was an infection in my gums that I had to have gotten from a cut in my mouth. He handed me two bottles of antibiotics to take four times a day and sent me on my way. I hated having to take that many pills a day…but knew it was necessary.
Two days later, no progress…at least not noticeably. I felt like I was being dramatic (and I was). But I quickly noticed how Satan was subtly attacking me. He was sneaking thoughts into my head. Insecurities arose because of my swollen face.
I found myself wanting to be alone, not talk to anyone or tell them what was really going on. I was frustrated. I was isolating. I was questioning God and asking Him why He wasn’t healing me and why I was dealing with this.
Two more days later the swelling began to go down and I woke up for the first time in over a week with absolutely no pain!!! PTL!
That very same day we were heading out beginning our travel day(s) to Swaziland. My right arm began itching like crazy!! I felt like I was going insane because I couldn't see any rash or anything.
The next morning I woke up to a lovely red rash that seemed to be quickly spreading up my neck and down my arm. What the heck, Lord!! When am I going to catch a break? I am tired. It's month 10. I'm physically not where I want to be and now all of this?! I thought that if I went to go take a shower, the rash would cool off. I climbed in there and of course the water was out…
It’s funny how little things really build up if you let them…and I had. It all boiled up and I was about to lose it. I humbled myself before the Lord and knew I needed time alone with Him.
He quickly reminded me…
1. To calm down because He has every thing under control even when
my life seems so far of any reach of control.
2. He will provide. He always has and always will.
3. Everything seems to be a bigger deal when we isolate ourselves
and try to deal with things on our own. He also reminded me to get over myself and talk to the community He has given me. When I begin to make things about ME, I lose sight of what HE is doing.
4. I daily have to give my insecurities, pain, and fears to Him.
It's not a one time commitment or one time prayer…it is daily dying to myself…even if that self is covered in a rash with a painful, swollen face. Will I come to Him even when I'm tired and "over it all"?
That night we flew to South Africa at 11pm and for safety reasons stayed at the airport until 6am to travel by bus to Swazi. That night was miserable. Some slept and some didn't. But I attempted to, as I quickly found a row of seats and curled up under a thin airplane blanket. An hour later I woke up nose freezing, feet like icicles. We have been on the equator all year, I was not prepared for this. I put on anything I could easily access from my air porter. I laid on the ice cold tile floor and prayed I would be able to fall asleep. I woke up with my hand all the way under my fleece, hoodie, and T-shirt scratching my arm covered in red, swollen bumps. I knew I had to do something and trust God to provide. And he did :).
We never really know where we will end up on travel days but five hours on a bus we pulled up to the most amazing gas station with AMERICAN SNACKS! I got to enjoy the best yogurt and raw nuts I think I've had on the race! A short hour later we arrived where our contacts were suppose to pick us up. It was a mall parking lot (not at all what I expected to see in Swaziland). My teammate quickly spotted a pharmacy and decided to run in with me just to see what we could find.
It wasn't just a pharmacy but a clinic! Thinking we only had a few minutes I quickly showed the pharmacist my rash and told her what was going on. She told me I needed an injection and that they could do it right there, right then.
I don't think I've ever felt so sketchy or impulsive as I went into a tiny room and dropped my pants for a lovely nurse to give me a shot in my rear. Yep. Within five minutes I had a shot, a bottle of more pills, and hydrocortisone cream to stop the itching. Ha. When God says He will provide…I have learned that He most absolutely will.
This long, dramatic story is to remind you that uncomfortable things will happen in our lives. Whether in Swaziland or America…unfortunate and inconvenient speed bumps will come our way. Will we give up, isolate and whine about it? Or will we trust Him and daily surrender despite the outcome?
Even if we see no progress, we must discipline ourselves to live a life fully sold out to Him. I believe these little or big annoyances of life are to strengthen us. To build our faith, our endurance, and show us just how dedicated we are.
So, today I challenge you as I challenge myself…
to trust more, to complain less, and remain in a constant state of thankfulness
in joy through trial or pain.
