“I may be weak, but your Spirit’s strong in me.
My flesh may fail, but my God, you never will.”
Oh, I knew long travel days would come..but this one came with a whirlwind of emotions.
We left Granada, Nicaragua at 3:00 am on less than an hour of sleep (for me at least). We got on a bus to head to the airport in Managua about an hour away. We waited at the airport to start our days of travel all the way across the world to our next destination.
We flew from Managua to Miami where we went through customs and such. (quick side note…I think every travel day I wish I had half of what I own on the race just for the sake of not carrying it). Then we flew from Miami to LA.
I was especially excited counting down the minutes till I got to see my sweet Dad for just a few short hours. Words cannot express the joy I experienced getting the blessing of seeing him for that layover. It was probably the fastest and most rushed two hours I can remember since starting the race, but worth every minute.
As we boarded the flight for Hong Kong, I was so excited! I felt so content and blessed after seeing my Dad and receiving a few items from a wish list my teammates and I made :).
I had faced my fear of flying in the previous two flights and felt so good about it! I had even spoken out loud how I felt maybe the Lord was taking this fear and anxiety from me (it has been really horrible in the past…).
The plane was incredible. The front of it looked like planes you only see in the movies! Where we were there were three seats on each side and four in the middle. Each of our seats had its own personal touch screen and the seats actually leaned back to a comfortable position to sleep in! We even had pillows and soft blankets (I didn't realize how much I had missed something as simple as snuggling up in a blanket!)
As we took off, I hardly felt nervous.
I was engaging in a good conversation with one of my squad mates and enjoying the selection of movies and TV shows they had. About thirty to forty-five min into the flight, we started to hit some turbulence. I felt like I was still doing okay praying and keeping myself calm and relaxed.
Then it got worse.
The plane was jolting back and forth, up and down to the point that they made the flight attendants go take their seats. I expect this on a small plane…but a huge plane on an international flight?! I started to panic…
When this happens, I usually look out the window (not sure why seeing the ground or something steady helps me). It was pitch black outside and all we saw were flashes of lightning.
As my squad mate, Meg, started praying for me, tears began to roll down my face. I couldn't remember the last time that I've ever been scared to the point of tears. Although it was probably a mixture of the lack of sleep and the amount of time we had spent traveling, I was absolutely terrified to the point of physically not being able to control my emotions.
I'm not a huge crier. In fact, I hate crying..especially in front of other people. I felt exposed. I felt vulnerable in a whole new way I hadn't felt on the race before. I felt completely helpless..weak…and out of control.
Meg and I began to pray out loud. Asking God to calm the storm. And He didn't…not right away at least. We spent the next thirty solid minutes in desperate cries out to God. I glanced over to one of my teammates across the plane. It's amazing how much you want to be close to those who know you the best when you feel so vulnerable. She looked over at me in concern for me. The love I felt from her concern made me cry harder. Why wasn't I able to be sitting with them?!
I pressed my head against the back of the seat, squeezed Meg's hand (at what point I grabbed I am still unsure), clenched my eyes closed and let the tears roll down my face. The more we prayed, the more I felt this supernatural peace fall over me. I looked around realizing the plane was still bouncing around in sudden jolts, but I felt calm. I still felt scared, but I just kept talking to Jesus out loud. No shame. No holding back. Just me and Jesus having a moment with Meg fighting for me as I struggled to let go of a deep rooted fear that I've had for years. I had thoughts of the plane literally violently falling from the sky.
"I have not brought you through all that I have to let you die in a plane crash."
Wow.
Yes, I was still absolutely terrified and I truly hope I never experience turbulence like that again in my life. But goodness, I was being a woman of little faith. I had lost sight, even if just for a moment, of my deeper purpose in life.
I truly believe that God may have let that turbulence bounce us around for the amount of time that he did, for the sole purpose to shake me up, get my attention, and bring me to a whole new level of brokenness and vulnerability.
As much as I hated every moment of that turbulence and as challenging as it was to trust God through such a physically hard situation for me, God did show up.
The turbulence finally died down after an hour or so and He allowed me the sweet blessing of sleeping the next eight solid hours of the flight straight through. (this is a big deal on a 14 hour flight)
I learned a lot through that experience. There is still so much I feel he wants to work through inside of me and bring out. God is far from done with me. I believe He uses our fears and those things that our flesh tries so desperately to hold on to. He has taught me that His love is extravagant, and He will not stop until He has all of us.
I don't know what your fears are, or what may be holding you back from fully experiencing the life God has for you, but I encourage you to check your heart. Maybe God wants to rock your life with some turbulence like He did for me. Yours may not be as literal as mine…but when the storm passes, and the clouds clear…it's pretty darn beautiful on the other side!
even though it felt like one very long and drawn-out day.
Our team arrived on the island of Mindanao, right before Typhoon Pablo hit. God protected us and provided us with a safe place to stay a few hours inland. We have been doing manual labor and working with the people here in Malay Balay for the past week. We have learned how to live without electricity, work hard long days in the sun with little running water and how to purify our own drinking water.
We will finally be traveling to our actual ministry site Monday. We will be working with a young Pilipino woman named KC. We will be living in the community directly affected by Typhoon Pablo. We are expecting to be in our tents, cooking over a fire and walking around the city to find where there is the strongest need and do our best to meet them. I cannot wait to see how God uses us in such a place of need. Please pray for safety and divine appointments with these people who need our love and help. Thank you to each of you who covered us in prayer over this past week!
