It’s been some time since I have written a blog (pardon my serious writers block)!
FILLING IN ON WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN RWANDA.
I am now writing to you from Rwanda, Africa. Everything about this place is great! I got a new team this month and they ROCK! I thank God for giving me such sweet teammates/friends. My host, Fatier, is the sweetest women you could ever meet and the family here are the most servant hearted people I’ve encountered. Everyone here is so caring and genuine. The weather has drastically changed, for the better. I went from dripping sweat every second of the day in Asia to actually being chilly at night and needing to grab a cup of hot coffee and my flannel. We always have groups of village kids saying hello at our porch in the morning, during the day, or even at night. We teach at a school in the morning, we visit the church in the afternoon, and visit sick people and encourage them and pray with them at a local hospital on Friday’s. I have been able to stand up and share an encouraging message at both of the church services I attended and even some services during the week. It’s cool to see that over the months, I am now confident enough to volunteer and speak to a crowd of 200 people. Ask me to do that a year ago or a few months ago I would definitely freak out and say, “No thanks!” We were able to attend our host’s friend’s wedding, went on a safari, and I had the opportunity to meet the child my family has sponsored for over 8 years now. Oh, and not to mention… the stars out here are INSANELY BEAUTIFUL.
Everything is pretty peaceful and laid back here unlike our fast paced busy life in the states. You can’t go anywhere without someone wanting to shake your hand and tell you hello. I also think I have done more walking here than I have in my whole life, and no that does not mean I’m now in shape… it’s confirmed that I am far from that. But… wow. God spoke directly to my heart when I was 15 that Africa is somewhere that He wanted to send me to and use me there and do big things in my life. To think that 7 years later I am here is crazy. Things don’t always happen within a few days, or weeks, or months. Sometimes it takes years. His timing is not our timing. His timing is PERFECT. But when the Lord gives you a promise on your life, He means it and He will keep it. He is faithful even though we are not.
So if the Lord spoke something to you a long time ago, remember it. Believe in it. If He spoke something to you a few days ago, hold onto it. Don’t lose sight of it. He keeps his promises.
FILLING IN ON WHAT I HAVE PERSONALLY BEEN LEARNING
Besides all of the amazing things happening on this side of the world, I have had some downfalls. I have spent a lot of my time traveling sick. First few months it was constant colds and sinus infections… which in itself can be really, really irritating and annoying, but normal for someone who one- gets colds a lot in the state and two- have never traveled before and switching places each month. Around Asia is where I started to get sick in other areas. Besides my usual monthly colds, in Cambodia I was down for the count. One day I felt extra achy and new something was wrong. I went to the local hospital because I figured maybe I had the flu, so I picked up some medicine there. Then, TMI (but) the diarrhea came and stayed. It was horrible and left my body empty, weak, and achy! Finally, it left me for a little bit. When the Philippines came, I had pains in my stomach that felt like an ulcer, so I went and got some medicine for that at the hospital. When I stepped foot on African soil, I got sick again. I went to the hospital and they told me I could have been either fighting a small infection or was just super dehydrated. Days pass and I still felt pretty awful. I went to the hospital again a few days ago and finally got an answer! They told me I had an Amoeba parasite and that I had it for a while now, which explains all the sickness the past few months. Parasites are caught from contaminated food or water, which I am tracking back to at least Cambodia. They gave me some pills to knock it out. A few days later, I got more stomach pains that felt like an ulcer again. So… I went back and made sure everything was okay and got some medicine. No infections or anything out of the ordinary, but the doctor did say that when I get home I need to get an endoscopy because it’s not just an ulcer that I have, it’s minor gastritis issues.
With all of that being said, I can’t believe I got through month 9 and heading into month 10! This month was definitely a struggle of fighting to go home or not. I was so beyond done of feeling sick and tired and exhausted. I had the flight all planned, even began to sort through my things. Once I got the time to really sit there and think and pray about going home with only two months left, being in the place where my heart has always longed to be, I didn’t feel peace about clicking ‘purchase’ on the flight. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that the enemy likes to attack me with illness, especially in a place where I have felt called to and longed to be for years. God spoke to my heart and told me that I am stronger than I think, I’m a fighter- not a quitter, and that He isn’t finished with me yet. Some may read that and think, “How could God tell me something like that while I’m in pain/not feeling good?” “Why would He not tell you it’s okay… you can go home and rest, you’ve done enough?” What I can say is that my Creator knows more about myself than I do… I’m His creation. He knows that pain is temporary, while me being in the midst of it thinks that I’m at my limit, when I’m not. If I did go home (for very good reasons), He would not be mad at me. He would not condemn me. He would not shame me for not finishing. The cool thing about God is that He gives us free will and if we switch up our path a little then He can still use us there just as much. He will meet us where we are always with arms wide open and that’s something a lot of people don’t understand. To think that God would ever be too mad at you and too disappointed in you is such a lie from the enemy.
There is ALWAYS a lesson to be learned through suffering. There’s always a reason for it. It may not make sense, it’s beyond frustrating, you’ll feel confused and forsaken, but that’s far from the truth. I feel like an overcomer even though there are still some days where I may feel gross. But can I tell you that if you know what the peace of the Lord feels like than you are so blessed. Throughout my fighting and going back and forth about going home or not, I really learned what the peace of God feels like. And something that I thought about was “What do the people who don’t know the Lord or what His peace feels like do?” and my heart began to ache for them. In my opinion, there’s really nothing greater than that feeling. Peace is a state of tranquility and quietness of spirit that transcends all circumstances. When we develop a lifestyle of making the Lord our refuge, we begin to live in the peace of God. Psalm 91:1 holds the secret to living in the peace of God: “He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refugee and my fortress: my God; in Him I will trust.” That secret place in our hearts is where we go to meet with God. When we choose to live there and hide away under His shadow, staying in constant communion with Him, we can remain peaceful, even when circumstances may not be. When we learn to cry out to Him in times of trouble, we find that His peace really does pass all human understanding.
One of my favorite quotes:
The peace and fulfillment of Jesus is literally so good that your bank account can be empty, your body be sick and your heart be broken, but it can always be well with your soul.
-Carl Lentz
Health is important, I know. And if it were severe, I would go home. So don’t worry, I’m really okay! I have my medicine on deck and ready to finish the race strong.
Anyways, onward and upward! Off to Uganda, month 10! Wow! Only about 50 days until my final squad debrief and then off to the states. Home sweet home, I sure do miss ya. Can’t wait to stuff my face with hot Cheetos and coke icees. My mouth is currently watering.
Xoxo,
See you so soon!
Sarah
