He’s never early, never late, always on time.
Lately I’ve been overwhelming myself with the “how is this going to happen” question (towards my financial part of this trip) and the “what can I do next” because I feel like I’m not ‘doing enough’ fundraising wise. I feel like my mindset has always been… You always have to be taking action. While in this walk, although that is true in a sense of always be serving the kingdom, I don’t need to be taking action “full speed!!!!!” in this fundraising process because it’s in His hands and not mine. And He wants to provide entirely.
I am selling a few things to help provide and have some bigger dates set for such things as bake sale, car wash, and garage sale. As you can see I’m more of a creative person and always want to be doing stuff to keep the speed of this fundraising going steady.
Well, It definitely has been a lot slower receiving donations that the past 2 months. And that’s been kind of weird to accept as ‘this is ok’.
The other day, He told me to “be still”. So lately… I’ve been attempting being still without getting too anxious. And for those of you who don’t know me, I get major anxiety when my money dwindles or when I’m not where I want to be. Money has been my biggest anxiety issue. I’m not a “hustler” by any means, but I freak out when I go spend $20. I question myself all day about certain purchases. I’m weird, I know.
There’s a few incidents that have happened lately but my biggest one was yesterday at work. I received an extra check. I knew immediately that they had made a mistake, because I had already received this check. At first I said, “I guess I’ll just take it as a blessing?” But the guilt inside told me absolutely not. My manager had left a few minutes ago to go home, so I ran out to her car while I could to say “Hey, you guys made a mistake. I already received this check.”
I knew I had to trust in God and not in my deceiving thoughts to try and take it.
The two main things I’ve been focusing on is my traveling backpack ($300) and passport which is also around $300.
And instantly when I got that extra check I thought, perfect I can put this toward purchasing my needs.
Needless to say… HE KNOWS YOUR NEEDS.
Tonight a friend came up to me after life group and said “I’m purchasing your back pack for your trip.”
Keep in mind- I hadn’t talked about any of my struggling with anxiety on my money issues or the extra check incident with her. Nothing about how I’ve been feeling and what’s been going on.
All God. And He is good. Always. Even when I can’t see the good end result of things yet.
“”When you don’t move the mountains I’m needing you to move…
When you don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through…
When you don’t give answers as I cry out to you…
I will trust in you.
•Truth is you know what tomorrow brings.
There’s not a day ahead that you have not seen..
