expected. It has been wonderful to spend time with close friends, see
my family in Kansas for Christmas, and squeeze in as many moments as
possible with my boyfriend, but something is missing. Despite sharing
about my experiences this past year, I have realized several times over
that God is what is missing. During the 11 months on the mission
field, I did better than ever before with maintaining my daily times
with God and I was very disciplined in reading the Word. Coming home,
I find it increasingly more difficult to fight for that time to focus
on Him. Distractions
abound and the intimacy I had with God seems to be in a slow fade.
While this is the last thing I want after the most amazing year of my
life, reversing the process of what I recognize to be happening is
incredibly difficult. And why is this happening anyway? Maybe it’s
the newness of being home or the holidays, maybe just the increase in
options of things to do or just the sheer number of distractions that
didn’t exist all year while I was sleeping under the stars and bucket
showering. Whatever the case, I don’t like feeling distant from God
and I deeply long for the intimacy that I had with Him during my year
away from home. I know the question is not, “God, where are you?” as though he is hidden, but
“Where am I?”
In Jeremiah 29:13, God says “you will seek me and
find me when you seek me with ALL of your heart.” What I have found
since I’ve been home is that rather than seeking Him, I have been
seeking other things. I have been seeking a place to live, to
reconnect with friends, to spend time with family, etc. These things
are not bad, but I have not been seeking God with all of my heart. I
have been seeking God at small group or on Sunday mornings,
but that is not the same as everyday as I was doing before or with all
of my heart as I am called to do. Hmm…. Maybe my feeling distant
from God isn’t so puzzling after all.
My question to you is
this: Have you, like me, also allowed life, circumstances,
relationships, etc to distract you from the God who wants you to seek
him with all of your heart and serve him with all of your life? The
holidays are a time that tends to be even busier than usual. How can
you and I return to having the intimacy with God that we once had or that we now long for? Church and Bible Study
are wonderful, but these things are passive. God wants more than your Sunday mornings and your Wednesday evenings. God wants relationship, he
wants us to seek him. I know I need to spend time in prayer, talking
and listening to God, spend time searching his word, resting in his
presence and waiting on Him. I know I am being called in to action and into relationship with the living God and I
want to challenge you to join me.
