2. Just because you pushed your tuk-tuk up a hill doesn’t mean you get a discounted price.
3. If you don’t want the kids to say “I am sad.” on the last day, you probably shouldn’t teach them that phrase.
4. In some orphanages the lice are so widespread even the Barbie dolls have them.
5. For some little Asian boys, play fighting ends in crucifixion.
6. Team snack in Cambodia consists of 5 for a dollar tarantulas.
7. You know you’re at a nice hotel when they have a no durian fruit policy.
8. You know you’re in Asia during Songkran when you get sniped by a bucket of water while walking to the store.
11. When going to sing karaoke in Asia be prepared to pay an hourly rate for a room.
12. Women in Asia put on lotion to make themselves whiter, so if you’re already white you’ll be an “albino princess”.
13. When taking a moto taxi in Cambodia don’t expect your driver to be safe, sober or licensed.
14. When using a squatty potty, it’s generally a good habit to stretch before and after you use the bathroom.
15. If you love listening to 90’s love ballads while eating, driving and doing laundry…then you’ll fit right in Asia.
16. “Bigass” is not a profane word in Laos, he is a famous musician.
17. To be a “volunteer” in Laos you have be married and have at least 5 children.
18. If you find the selection of meat in America small and boring, come to Asia. Here you can have: chicken, beef, pork, goat, frog, gecko, dog, ming mao, pigeon, fish, squid, snake or any bug you find.
19. Crickets and popcorn are “same same but different”.
20. When bathing in a river, it’s never a bad idea to make sure you’re not downriver from any sewage lines.
21. If you’re going to lose a filling in your tooth, lose it in Thailand. 30 minutes and 20 US dollars later, you have a new filling.
