I spent the month of April doing bar ministry in northern Thailand. In Thailand, there are 4 million women working in prostitution. 800,000 of those are under the age of 18 (aka children). Technically, prostitution is illegal here. But, I can tell you from seeing it first hand that it happens every night. The women work in the bars seven nights a week. It is not even a matter of the police not knowing or merely looking the other way; they benefit financially from the bars and the industry and have accepted it in their cities and their culture.
Many women, especially children, are sold into sex slavery by their families. Can you imagine? Even for those who aren’t sold, many women feel they have no choice as they are expected to provide for their families and the only job which is profitable enough to provide is prostitution.
There are certain bar districts for local Thai men and there are other districts for foreigners. We were in the foreigner’s district. To the unknowing tourist, many of these places look like typical bars. Nothing on the outside screams “buy sex here.” In most cases, men come in and buy a drink for themselves and the bar girl of their choice and then at some point a little later, they pay the bar to remove the girl for the night. The girls themselves don’t really see hardly any of that money and make their money by the personal prices they have set for their services. So how much they make depends upon what the customer pays to them directly. And for the most part, the physical acts happen at the man’s house or hotel.
It is difficult to go to the bars night after night and know that while I am here for a short time to love them and minister to these women that this is their life and their day to day reality. There were many nights that we would come to the bar to see the girls that we have come to know and love and are attached to, only to find that they had already been bought for the night. Truly, this was not an uncommon or unexpected scenario, but nevertheless disappointing. My heart just sinks when that happens.
Most girls are only in the sex industry for the money to support themselves, their children, their families. If they don’t leave with a customer, they are not making money and that is the reason they are there. They do not get into it because they think it is glamorous or because they enjoy it. They are empty inside. It is sad just to imagine how they think of themselves and their value, and their self-worth amidst this lifestyle. It is heart breaking.
The first night of ministry, our group went out to walk the streets with a missionary who had done ministry there before. We were introduced to the area and given a bit of background information. We talked some and spent time prayer walking. One thing I noticed is how outgoing and assertive even aggressive the girls (and the ladyboys) were in attempting to get the attention of men as they walk by. Even that first night, it broke my heart.
It is hard to witness this scene every night. Selling your body for sex is dehumanizing. And for me, seeing these girls so desperately NOT want to go with these mostly middle aged or older men is horrible to watch. I want so much to just come in and share the gospel with them and then take them out of the bar and into a new and different life. Sadly, the reality is that I do not have the means to change their circumstances. But, I can share Jesus with them, show them love, and speak truth and hope and truth into their lives.
As I spent time with several girls in several different bars on the main strip, I heard their stories. I did not meet one girl who liked her job. I did not meet one girl who had worked in the bar for more than a year. Many of the women had children; some were in their 30’s, most in their 20’s. But one thing was the same: they were not happy. To watch them, you can see the false excitement as they try to entice customers and then the immediate dullness and sadness that reclaims their eyes the moment the customer is not looking or they are turned away.
Many of these girls have given up on men and love completely because of their experiences in the past and while working in the bars. Some have desperate hopes that one of their customers will become their “boyfriend” and sadly have a misguided understanding of love. Then, there are the optimistic few who hope that one day they will meet a man to marry, but even these girls have deep scars from working in prostitution and need God’s healing before they can have a healthy relationship.
While most of these women have given up on love completely and those who have not have a twisted understanding of what love is, God is reaching out to them and loves them unconditionally. They are hurting and in desperate need of healing and God is the supernatural healer and my prayer is that they will come to know Him, serve Him, and embrace what He has for them. The majority of these women come from Bhuddist families and would even say that they themselves are Bhuddist. I spent my month loving these women as Jesus loves them. I had the opportunity to become quite close with a couple ladies who are very dear to my heart. They would light up every time I entered the bar and cling to me. It was difficult for them to grasp that I did not come to take something from them, but to give to them. I know that the relationship that I have built with these girls is but a small part of what God is doing in their lives.
