Earlier this month, me and some of my teammates went into Antigua for ATL’s (Ask The Lord), which is where we walk around asking God what he has for us that day and talk with people, pray with them, or just spend time with God.
On this particular day, me and three of my other teammates felt God asking us to have some silent time with Him at the cross in Antigua, that is on a hillside overlooking the city.
While sitting on the hill, we listened to the song Open The Eyes of My Heart. With arms stretched out wide, we prayed for all of the spiritual poverty in the city and for God’s light and love to fill every home, heart, and family in this place.
After the song had finished I looked over to one of my teammates Grace and asked her what she had gotten out of her silent time.
She told me that when she prays most of the time she tries to imagine where Jesus is with her at that time or place and imagine what He is doing.
During this particular time she said that she pictured Jesus standing next to her with His arms stretched out over Antigua as well. From His hands Grace saw light pouring out into the city of Antigua and filling every corner, leaving no room for darkness.
Thinking about this later I decided that next time I pray, worship, or spend time with God I want to do the same thing.
During another praise and worship session at the cross the next week, I remembered this. So during this time I closed my eyes and prayed to God. While my eyes were closed, I got the most beautiful image of Jesus laying down in the grass in front of us, playing with the wildflowers, and listening to us His children singing to Him.
In that moment I truly felt Jesus’ presence and have been doing this ever since.
Now throughout my day I can picture Jesus everywhere. Many times I have amazing visions of Him here with me or others.
Ministry has not always been easy and sometimes I am so tired or don’t want to work anymore. Then I get a vision of Jesus right beside me doing the same thing. Whether it is walking up the washed out dirt road to construction on Wednesdays, teaching English in a class of kids who know only the alphabet and some colors, driving in a car so packed that people are sitting on the floor through two hour traffic jams, or praying over people everywhere I go. Now I see Jesus.
I saw Him two weeks ago in a lady named Elizabeth, who is battling for her life and waiting for an organ transplant that she doesn’t know if she will ever find or be able to afford. I saw Him in the huge smile on her face and the tears in her eyes after we prayed for her bruised arms from so many needle injections and treatments.
I saw Him in her mother Cata, who was caring for her entire family and grandchildren in a two bedroom house that was just built for them through her prayers.
I saw Him walking up the washed out road on a construction day, with a shovel in one hand and a pick in the other, saying “are you ready for the day Sam?”
I feel Him hug me every day in the kids, parents, and families we come to know. I see His smile in their faces and His tears in their eyes when they get kicked in the head by a soccer ball or fall on the ground and get a bruise.
And I saw Him today in our soccer tournament with two gloves on, defending the goal for our team, and laughing with us and all of the kids playing.
Through this, my relationship with God has become so more intimate. I see Him so much in my everyday life now and I only want more.
I remember a picture that hung up in my house when I was younger. In the picture it showed a man who looked like he was a carpenter. He had a hammer in one hand and a chisel in the other. He was wearing work clothes and looked so exhausted and tired that he was about to fall over. Behind him was Jesus, clothed in a holy white veil holding him up, not letting him fall over.
I don’t know where that picture is now, probably in a box somewhere in our storage room, but now when I think back to that picture, I think about how many times we are that carpenter, who is so tired that we are about to fall over.
Thinking back on many hard times in my life, where I could not see or feel Jesus at that time, I am now able to see that He was with me the entire time.
He was with me when I ate my lunch alone in a bathroom. He was with me when I got cut from the varsity soccer team. He was with me when I found out that my grandma died.
Not only was Jesus with me in these hard times, but He was also with me in the good times. Like when me and my dad became best friends through backpacking trips and music, or when I decided to eat lunch with my classmates and make new friends, or when I spent thanksgiving with my grandparents and helped cook the meal with my grandma.
Throughout all of these times, Jesus was there with me, except when I picture Him, He wasn’t in a white veil looking like a saint and holy. In my visions Jesus was plain and normal just like me and you. He was wearing everyday clothes and He looked rugged and wild. His hair was curly and everywhere and His clothes had been worn in and were old.
The reason I feel Jesus coming to me like this is because I believe He is saying to not just me, but all of us, that like the poem “Footprints,” He has been walking by our side ever since and even before we were born. He has known every step we have ever taken or will take, and is there to catch us and carry us when we fall.
Jesus is in this for the long run. His sleeves are rolled up and His pants ripped in the knees. He is doing all of the grunt work behind the scenes and always will be there for us.
I challenge you throughout your day, when you feel like you can not make it or when you are so happy you can’t contain yourself – I challenge you to close your eyes, take some time, and just imagine Jesus. Feel His presence and know that He is always with you. That you can do all things through Him who gives you strength.
God is with you.
