(This blog is going back to Cambodia, month 10, in October. I had the idea for this blog a long time ago and thought that it was time that I finally write it!)
The first week of Cambodia was difficult for me. Our ministry was an orphanage in the capitol, Phnom Penh. The city is busy, hot, and dirty. This month felt like a repeat of last month- go to the home, hang out with the kids, try to get over language barriers, try to learn difficult names, try to establish a relationship that will hopefully make an impact over the course of a month.
It was exhausting, and frankly, and I didn’t really want to do it. I didn’t really want to try at all.
Normally I don’t take my camera to ministry the first few days. I don’t like to wave the lens of a DSLR in people’s faces before they can even remember my name or get used to the foreigners being there. I also find that the photos I take are better once I’ve established a relationship with people, because then the way that I care about them transfers into the photograph. It is no longer just a picture of a woman or a child, but an endearing recollection of that person.
I thought I’d never be able to bring my camera to the orphanage.
However, I committed to making a website for them, and let’s face it, a website needs to have photos. So I started bringing my camera, and something amazing began to happen.
The photos helped me to fall in love with the children.
I’d snap a photo, look at my screen, and just be in awe of the face that stared back at me.
How could I not love these precious faces? How could I not find joy in their company?
The loud noises, smells, heat, messiness, and tiredness of the situation faded away. Basically, all the things that didn’t matter faded away. Somehow, through my camera, I was able to see these precious kids a little more like how God sees them. I fell in love with the joy on the faces, the way they couldn’t say my name but remembered it all the same, the way they shouted, “God bless you sister!” as we left, the way each table prayed together before eating, the way they argued over who got to hold the naked one year old…
It was beautiful. The rest of the month wasn’t always easy, but I could truly say that I loved the kids. And somehow, God used my camera to teach me that.
