Continuation:
In this particular situation "what I know to do" is be wise financially, not potentially put myself I debt, and make April the final deadline for myself regardless of if they allow me to continue on afterwords or not. I have prayed over this, in a time of fasting i have taken this to The Lord, I have searched his word, and i have sought the counsel of godly men and women. Because I am choosing " what I know to do" which is make the end of april my final deadline, I have peace, my faith is firm in trusting him, there is no anxiousness, and I am not confused, there is no fear of that decision. Now if the money is fully in my account then I will gladly and joyfully move forward and finish the race, indeed that is my desire, but if it is not in my account, I cannot afford to move on and Ill lean on these two passages.
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Philippians 4: 11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
I trust that whatever happens it will work out for my good and his Glory and whatever happens I am content.
I want you all to understand that this isn't a matter of if God is saying leave the race or not, this is a matter of God saying be wise if the money doesn't come in at the end of april. He has not given me any indication to pack up and go but he has given me indication to not continue on if my account is lacking. I also want you to understand that I know there is nothing too hard for God and he will supply every need of mine according to his riches and glory In CHRIST. But I also know this does not mean test The Lord, nor does it mean do things foolishly in expectation that he will deliver me from my foolishness. Indeed he will be gracious towards me but I will still suffer the consequences of being foolish.
"What I think I should do" wages war against all of "What i know i should do." First I'm being attacked by lies such as if i leave i will be let people down because I'm another man. I'm not cut for missions. I can't finish the job. I don't have faith. People will look down on me. Oh how I must rebuke such thoughts. What i think is also causing the thoughts i should not care about whether i will be in debt or not. Keep going as long as they allow me. If I owe at the end then so be it. I'll do what I have to do to pay it back and ill work with aim somehow to pay them what i owe. "What i think" doesn't sit well with me. When I consider these things and I feel myself leaning toward them I get anxious, worrisome, fearful, doubt, etc. because I feel I'm leaning to my own understanding.
So this is it family and friends, brothers and sisters. Please be In prayer for me. I love all and I appreciate all. This has been a year of no regrets. I will putting a funding video up soon so stay tuned for that.
